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So your daughter is engaged—congrats! This is a time of celebration. While she starts to make plans for the big day, you and your friends and family will want to celebrate her and her fiancé with engagement parties and bridal showers. First things first: Who hosts these parties? The short and simple answer is whoever offers to.

Traditionally, it’s not really appropriate for immediate family members of the bride to host a shower, as it can be seen as them asking for gifts. While it might be hard for some proud Southern mamas to let go of the reins for these parties, focus on helping your daughter plan her wedding day and let someone else do the planning in the meantime. And, let’s be honest, it’s so much more enjoyable when someone who isn’t even related to you wants to shower your child with love and gifts and all you have to do is graciously show up.

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The likely candidates for shower hosts? Bridesmaids, friends of the bride, her aunts or cousins, or even coworkers. While you and your daughter aren’t in charge of planning the showers themselves, you do need to help coordinate logistics among the various hostesses—dates, themes, and guest lists shouldn’t overlap if possible. It’s also important to think about the location of the showers if the bride, her bridesmaids, and family who will be invited all live in different cities. No matter who steps up to do the hosting, this is a special season of celebration and preparation for the happy couple to officially start their life together, and it’s a heartwarming moment to know the most important people in your daughter’s life want to come together and celebrate in her honor.

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