Watch lowering that turkey into the fryer—last year, we nearly set Daddy's bass boat on fire.
There are family gatherings, and then there’s Thanksgiving, the granddaddy of them all, the time of year when we're most likely to “put on a big feed.” Southern women go a little bit jeepers over Thanksgiving dinner. They all have an irrational fear of running out of food, even though they’ve been shopping and cooking and freezing and thawing for weeks.
We polled our Facebook Brain Trust to see what Thanksgiving sayings pop up this time of year. Let us know what we missed. Gobble, gobble!
"Who all’s coming for Thanksgiving? I need to know how many pans of dressing to make."
"I don’t care if the preacher and five deacons show up—I’m still wearing my stretchy pants."
"Daddy, either get to those woods and bring me back a turkey, or I’m going to Publix before they take the Butterballs off sale."
"Thank heaven we only have to polish Mama’s silver a few times a year."
"Just because you don’t have sense enough to like ambrosia doesn’t mean you don’t have to help me cut up those oranges."
"You know you don’t have to bake that ham yourself. You can buy one already cooked, and it won’t cost but $125. Worth every penny. I hate wrestling that bird."
"Reckon I’ve made enough giblet gravy?"
"I love giblet gravy."
"I despise giblet gravy."
"You’d better take it easy on that sage. Nothing ruins a pan of dressing quicker than too much sage."
"Is that Mama’s dressing recipe?"
"Memaw’s dressing was the best."
"You want to make the dressing? Well, bless your heart. I’m making the dressing."
"If you ask me, frying that turkey is a huge fire hazard. Last year, the Butterball splashed going in, and Daddy’s bass boat near ’bout went up in flames. Plus all that peanut oil will set you back at least $100."
"Did you remember to tell Vonda not to forget to remember to make a pumpkin pie?"
"Bless your heart for offering to help. Why don’t you bring some Sister Schubert’s?"
"I'm ashamed to admit it, but I like that canned cranberry sauce better than homemade."
"Thank goodness you’re here! It wouldn’t be Thanksgiving without your green bean casserole!"
"Bless you for this relish tray. And I see you remembered the Wickles."
"WHERE are we gonna put all this FOOD?????!!!"
"Now, Mama, we are NOT turning off the football game during Thanksgiving dinner . . . No, ma’am, we’re not . . . But . . . But . . . Yes, ma’am . . . Yes, ma’am . . . Yes, ma’am . . . I musta lost my head for a minute. Of course we’ll turn it off . . . Want us to take out the trash?"
"Raise your hand if you want sweet tea."
"I can’t believe it’s 80 degrees on Thanksgiving. Dang. Think it's too hot to go huntin’?"
"Has anybody seen my dressy flip-flops?"
"It’s not the turkey that makes you sleepy—it’s all the carbs from the cornbread dressing and the sweet potato casserole."
"Who made the [FILL IN DISH HERE]? It was delicious."
"Whose turn is it to offer thanks—Paw-Paw’s or Uncle Willie’s?"
"I think I’ll go to bed before I have to put the leftovers out again."
WATCH: Things Southern Moms Say To Their Boys
You can bet Mama's list of instructions gets a few miles longer around Thanksgiving, when Junior will need to be on his best behavior at the family dinner.