San Antonio Zoo Will Let You Name A Cockroach After Your Ex

This Valentine’s Day get your best friend something she could really use—a cockroach named after her awful ex-boyfriend. That’s right, it’s time for the San Antonio Zoo’s annual “Cry Me A Cockroach” fundraiser that lets folks name a cockroach after their most deserving ex. 

For just $10, the zoo will not only give the little roach a moniker of your choosing, but to sweeten the deal, it will then feed the creepy crawler to an animal while you watch. Not only do donors get some incredible closure—and the animal gets a little snack—but that $10 will go to a good cause (well, another good cause), namely supporting “the zoo’s vision of securing a future for wildlife in Texas and around the world,” per the zoo’s website.

If you don’t want to defame a cockroach with your ex’s name, the zoo will also let you name a rodent or even a vegetable after that rotten two-timer. While rodent’s cost $25, if you don’t want to spend any more than necessary to get your vengeance, a vegetable will set you back a mere $5. 

To ensure that your so-called not-so-special someone knows you’ve named a rat or a roach after them, as part of your donation, the zoo will send your ex a digital Valentine’s Day Card informing them that their namesake was fed to an animal at San Antonio Zoo. 

For $150 donation, though, the zoo will help serve up some revenge by sending that heartbreaker a video with a custom voiceover. That way there will be no doubt that John Doe from Tallahassee is a no good, dirty rotten cockroach who got what he deserved.

To participate in this extra fun fundraiser, submit your exes name online before Valentine’s Day.