We’re drawing the line after a survey found that 35% of Americans would name their child “Pumpkin Spice” for a year of free pumpkin spice coffee.

By Meghan Overdeep
August 26, 2019
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We need to talk.

Listen, we love pumpkin spice just as much as the next person, but y’all need to calm down.

According to a new poll, Americans are willing to do some pretty wild things in exchange for a year of pumpkin spice coffee. The survey of 2,000 ordinary humans found that, of pumpkin spice lovers, 41% say they’d give up carbs to get pumpkin spice coffee for life. Forty-one percent would give up alcohol, and 28% would sacrifice chocolate.

No chocolate for life?!

And it gets worse. The study, conducted by OnePoll in conjunction with Green Mountain Coffee Roasters, also found that in the name of a lifetime of pumpkin spice coffee, three in 10 would sit in traffic for two hours every day, 41% would stand in line at the DMV once a month for the rest of their lives, two in five would take a red-eye flight once a week, and a horrifying 35% would name their child “Pumpkin Spice.”

Seriously, your child?!

And the madness begins long before the fall season. Sixty-eight percent admit that they begin craving the autumnal flavor before September. And of the plethora of pumpkin spice flavored treats available—from Oreos to SPAM—77% of Americans are most excited for the coffee.

WATCH: How To Make A Pumpkin Spice Latte

"Americans really can’t wait until September to enjoy the tastes of fall," a spokesperson for Green Mountain Coffee Roasters said in a release. "Pumpkin spice is a flavor that many would love to enjoy year-round."

You can say that again!

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