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These are fraught times, y’all.

By Meghan Overdeep
January 17, 2020
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A Georgia police department is doing its duty to warn citizens of a grave new threat… to their waistlines.

Earlier this week the Duluth Police Department took to Facebook with a hilarious announcement regarding the delicious dangers of Girls Scout Cookies season, which kicks off this month.

“We have received reports that a highly addictive substance will soon be arriving in our area,” the department wrote in a now-viral post (below). “These substances go by several different street names. Thin Mints, Peanut Butter Patties, Thanks-A-Lot, Peanut Butter Sandwich, Shortbread, and S’mores are a few of them.”

The Atlanta-area law enforcement agency goes on offer help identifying the unassuming assailants: “young girls who get you in with a good cause story and soon you’re hooked.”

As for what to do if you come into contact with any of these cookies, the police department recommends dropping them off at the station. “Officers will be happy to assist with proper disposal,” the post concludes.

Stay safe out there, y’all!