Top 10 New Year's Resolutions for Southern Belles
Actually, we've got more than 10—and #1 shouldn't surprise any sister who has filled that coffee urn more times than she can count.
Can it really be time to make our New Year’s resolution list again? Yes, it can. A new year is upon us, and like everybody else out there, Southern women are deciding what changes they want to make, from self-improvement to home improvement. As you might guess, we have a different set of priorities than some—and an innate practicality that helps us make New Year’s resolutions that can be realistically attained so that we don’t feel all mopey this time next year. You will never see “lose 50 pounds” on our New Year’s resolution list because we live in the same place as sweet potato casserole. Never will you see a belle of a certain age write “learn to figure skate” on her resolution list—unless she’s married to an orthopedic surgeon. No, we choose our life changes as judiciously as we choose our daughters’ husbands. And here’s what we’re looking at for 2018:
TOP 10 NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS
1. Get myself off of that church hostess committee.
2. Find some stylish, comfortable shoes that won’t make me limp and won’t make me look like Memaw, bless her sweet heart, God love her, she’ so precious.
3. Defrost the freezer more often so it doesn’t form that iceberg that forces me to duct-tape the door shut.
4. Refresh my Spanx collection.
5. Before spring gets here, find a self-tanner that won’t make my legs look like a preschooler’s art project.
6. Throw away that half-used eye shadow palette from the Estee Lauder gift set of Christmas 2005, and ditch those blazers in the back of my closet, which haven’t been in style since the Reagan administration.
7. Make vacation plans that will not require me to shop for a swimsuit until I’ve got SEVERAL months of Weight Watchers under my belt and at least 10 pounds off my backside.
8. Stop binge-watching The Golden Girls. (But first, follow Blanche's lead and give myself a lovely nickname. Didn't she address her inner self as “Water Lily”?)
9. Stop binge-watching Designing Women. (But first, learn how to say “Ray Don” the way Julia used to and memorize that whole "night the lights went out in Georgia" speech.)
10. Finally make that dang Hummingbird Cake and see what all the fuss is about.
11. Become a little less obsessed with Prince George and Princess Charlotte. (Oh, who are we kidding? Those little royals are ADORABLE!!!) And speaking of the royals . . .
12. Rock a fascinator this coming Easter.
13. Learn to make Memaw’s scratch biscuits before she passes, bless her sweet heart, God love her, she’s so precious.
14. Pin down my “signature chicken” for supper club and fellowships.
15. Learn to grow tomatoes. (But you know, Publix has some pretty good ones year-round now, so it hardly seem worth ruining my nails . . .)
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