New year, new caption (please).

AleksandarNakic/Getty Images

With a new year comes an entire social media feed full of “new year, new me” captions and halfhearted attempts at meaningful resolutions. Not. This. Year. We’re going to rely on the eloquent (and funny) words of others with these quotes to close out 2018. And yes, these quotes are perfect for that New Year’s Eve Instagram caption. If you want to impress your family this holiday season, send them a happy New Year wish with one of these inspirational quotes. When you can’t find the right thing to say or type, these New Year quotes fit perfectly. From inspirational and funny to heartwarming and soulful, these New Year quotes will give you hope (or the perfect New Year’s Eve Instagram caption) to kick off 2019.

Funny New Year Quotes

 “You know how I always dread the whole year? Well, this time I'm only going to dread one day at a time.” Charlie Brown

“The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year’s Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you’re married to. Thee hangover begins the next day and lasts through Super Bowl Sunday, when you lose whatever money you had left from Christmas by betting on the Toronto Blue Jays, who are not even a football team. The rest of the holiday season is spent adding up bills.” P.J. O’Rourke, “Modern Manners: An Etiquette Book for Rude People”

"Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve. Middle age is when you're forced to." Bill Vaughan

“Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are now average… which means, you have met your New Year’s resolution.” Jay Leno

"New Year Resolutions
1. To refrain from saying witty, unkind things, unless they are really witty and irreparably damaging.
2. To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time.” James Agate

“And then there was the psychiatrist who put a sign on his door that read: ‘And a well-adjusted new Year to you all.’” Ruth MacKay, contributed to “Reader’s Digest,” Volume 120

Inspirational New Year Quotes

“There are better things ahead than any we leave behind.” C.S. Lewis

“Ring out the old, ring in the new,
Ring, happy bells, across the snow:
The year is going, let him go;
Ring out the false, ring in the true.” Alfred Lord Tennyson, “In Memoriam”

“Tomorrow is the first blank page of a 365 page book. Write a good one.” Brad Paisley

“For last year's words belong to last year's language
And next year's words await another voice.” T.S. Eliot, “Little Gidding,” No. 4 of “Four Quartets”

“Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right.” Oprah Winfrey

“Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year.” Ralph Waldo EmersonTop of Form

“Be at War with your Vices, at Peace with your Neighbours, and let every New-Year find you a better Man.” Benjamin Franklin, “Poor Richard’s Almanac,” 1755 edition

“Another fresh new year is here . . .
Another year to live!
To banish worry, doubt, and fear,
To love and laugh and give!” William Arthur Ward, “Another fresh new year is here…”

“The new year stands before us, like a chapter in a book, waiting to be written. We can help write that story by setting goals.” Melody Beattie, “The Language of Letting Go”

New Year Resolution Quotes

“Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.” Mark Twain, from a column in the Territorial Enterprise, January 1, 1863

“My New Year's Resolution List usually starts with the desire to lose between ten and three thousand pounds. In the middle, I list career goals and coveted shoes. Somewhere near the end I'll add something about donating more often to charity and reducing my carbon footprint.

I start out with good intentions but by mid-January, the list will be stuck to my cheek because I napped on it as I watched fit people exercise on cable TV.

By the end of January I detest the list and avoid it, all crunched up at the bottom of my purse. By February I've bought a new purse.” Nia Vardalos, “The List”

“Let our New Year’s resolution be this: We will be there for one another as fellow members of humanity, in the finest sense of the word.” Göran Persson, former Prime Minister of Sweden

“Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account.” Oscar Wilde, “The Picture of Dorian Gray”

“Have your new year’s resolutions been a new beginning for you or have they just been different words on the same old beginning? Maybe now’s the time to establish a new pattern of viewing your life fresh.” Mary Anne Radmacher

“I do think New Year’s resolutions can’t technically be expected to begin on New Year’s Day, don’t you? Since, because it’s an extension of New Year’s Eve, smokers are already on a smoking roll and cannot be expected to stop abruptly on the stroke of midnight with so much nicotine in the system. Also dieting on New Year’s Day isn’t a good idea as you can’t eat rationally but really need to be free to consume whatever is necessary, moment by moment, in order to ease your hangover. I think it would be much more sensible if resolutions began generally on January the second.” Helen Fielding, “Bridget Jones’s Diary”

“Make New Year’s goals. Dig within, and discover what you would like to have happen in your life this year. This helps you do your part. It is an affirmation that you’re interested in fully living life in the year to come.” Melody Beattie, “The Language of Letting Go”

WATCH: Rick Bragg on New Year Traditions

So whether you need a good laugh, a little inspiration, or some wisdom, these New Year quotes will help you start the new year on a good note. Happy New Year!

Advertisement