5 Resolutions A Southerner Never Makes

New year, new you? Not so fast.

Woman Wearing Blue Dress Writing In Notebook

Getty Images

The time for setting our minds toward a fresh start are upon us. Talk of words of the year, what will be given up, and what will be gained are circling about like the constant hum of a swarm of honey bees. There are, of course, still some of us who prefer to sit back and let the others do all the self-improving whether out of a belief that we’re darn near perfect already (we respect it), a concession that resolutions rarely pan out, sheer laziness, or maybe a mixture of all three. But, no matter their posture on the annual rite of passage to a new year, one thing is to be sure, there are some resolutions a Southerner never makes. We’ve always been a crew that respects the tried and true, after all. 

Giving Up the Salon Gossip 

Regardless of whether we’re setting resolutions or not, it’s a safe bet that most of us are looking to improve ourselves daily. Does that mean we’re all aiming to be kinder to our friends and neighbors? Not necessarily, but it can often be an easy way to start. We’ll vow to speak kinder words, be more tolerant of certain collegiate allegiances, and even hand out more praise than our pastor on Sunday, but all bets are off once we hit the safe haven of the salon. It’s there we find our refuge from the work we’re putting in to better ourselves and our hearts. Call it a cheat hour (or three if you manage to bump that partial up to a full) and it’s just the respite we need to keep that kindness goal attainable. Plus, what’s said in the salon stays in the salon—that’s a universal truth, right?

Rejiggering Family Recipes  

We’re all for a healthier outlook in 2023, whatever that may mean to you, but don’t even think about suggesting we swap in a lower fat Cheddar in our beloved pimiento cheese or try out a low-cal pie crust. There are some recipes that just don’t take kindly to interpretation, Grandma’s Chocolate Pudding Pie and the Masters Pimiento Cheese among them. Maybe we’ll just log some extra loops around the cul-de-sac instead or, if we must, forgo these delicacies altogether. The latter would be a true crying shame. 

Telling Fido No to the Furniture

Pets on furniture is tricky. First there’s the conundrum of your full-grown St. Bernard climbing atop the lap of an unsuspecting guest (as luck would have it, usually a grandmother or great aunt) just as they settle onto your sofa with a hot cup of coffee. Apologies and the one-man tug-of-war commence. Of course, there’s the issue of fur and dirt that inevitably come with the territory, but the couch-time comradery and bedtime foot-warming just can’t be beat. So, while a January 2 call to Stanley Steamer might have countless Northern neighbors laying down the law with their four-legged friends, we waved that white flag long ago. 

Paring Down Our Decor

Don’t even come at us with your decluttering and trash bag methods. We’ve made collecting an artform. From the neatly stacked coffee table books to the china hanging on the wall, there’s no shortage of interest in our spaces. Some misinformed visitors might think it’s clutter, but to us every single piece plays a part in making our homes a direct reflection of ourselves and exactly the oasis we seek after a long day. We’ll leave the decluttering to the minimalists, because we’re not looking to simplify our surroundings anytime soon. 

Doing Less

Don’t be fooled, if you think we’re in the “year of yes” camp, think again. Our cup runneth over for decades now, and we’ve mastered the art of the extracurriculars. We’re on the hospitality committee at church, (mostly) active participants in the school PTO, volunteer with the food drive weekly, and even manage to swing around on not only one but two community tennis leagues. We’re out and about and loving every minute of it. We know that filling our days with the right mix of giving back, fellowship, and fun is a surefire way to continue the joy in the year ahead and that is one thing we can all resolve to bring to 2023. 

Was this page helpful?
Related Articles