Can the impossible be done?

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Recently I found some (miraculously unexpired) protein powder at the back of my pantry and some frozen pineapple in the bottom drawer of my freezer. It was rent week--who was I to turn down a scrappy smoothie? Aren’t they **the** wellness food right now anyway? 

While making it, I remember thinking how absurdly, deafeningly loud my blender was, and how glad I was in that moment that I don’t have roommates. And that I don’t drink smoothies all that often. But, a quick google search of "Is my blender so loud it could harm my and/or my dog's ears?" churned up some promising results. As it turns out, there is a little hope for quieting a shrill, screeching blender. Guess I'll take the pink Mutt Muffs out of my Amazon cart. 

Pull It Away From the Wall

I figured this one out on accident, after using my blender in the corner under the cabinetry. Simply bring it out in the open. Just try it, okay? Move the blender away from the wall and out from underneath the cabinetry where it creates a terrible, echo-y din. 

WATCH: Why Every Kitchen Needs a Food Processor

 

Put Something Under It

In article after article, the go-to tip seems to be to put a towel, mat, trivet, pot-holder, or just about anything flat under the body of the blender it to dampen some of the noise. Treat yourself to a new tea towel for this very purpose! 

Go Really High, or Really Low

Honestly the key here is to have either a low-cost and low-power blender, or if you need high power, go ahead and get one of the more expensive, higher-quality blenders. With low-cost but high-power blenders (the danger zone), you lose some of that critical insulation to muffle the sounds of, well, high power blending.  If you’re reallllyyyy serious, consider investing in a heavy duty stealthy blender. (They can be for any blended beverage, I don’t judge!) Try ones like the Blendtec Pro 800 ($800), or Vitamix’s option, literally called “The Quiet One” ($1000). Additionally, the Blender Authority has a helpful guide to the shockingly vast world of quiet blenders here.