Today's fascinating question comes from faithful reader, Robert, who complains, "I plant many different kinds of tomatoes, but none ever get larger than a golf ball. What am I doing wrong? Am I leaving something out?"
Grumpy's Guaranteed 100% Correct Answer: Robert, it's quite possible that you have been planting a new kind of tomato from St. Andrews, Scotland called "Golf Ball." This remarkable new selection exhibits the exact same size, weight, texture, appearance, and taste of a PGA golf ball. It also has excellent storage ability and does not need refrigerating.
If you're not growing 'Golf Ball,' then your tomatoes don't like where they're growing. Tomatoes need full sun and fertile, well-drained soil containing lots of organic matter, such as composted down manure, mushroom compost, ground bark, and chopped leaves. Feed your plants every two weeks during the growing season with a liquid fertilizer labeled for tomatoes. Put down a two-inch layer of mulch over the soil to keep the roots cool and moist. Finally, try growing tomatoes that have the letters VFTNA after the name. This tells you that your plants resist many common tomato pests.