Hooray! Time For World Naked Gardening Day!
If you think the only point of gardening is to bare your soul, you are sadly mistaken. Saturday, May 2, is World Naked Gardening Day, and I know you'll want to participate!
Yes, it's true. Every person on the globe who loves both flowers and fig leaves will be tip-toeing through the tulips with nary a stitch on this Saturday. Why? Because planting a tuber in your birthday suit gives you an au naturel joie de vivre that can't be matched any other way. As Barbara Pollard (pictured above) puts it, "When you're out there with a gentle breeze on you, every last hair on your body feels it. You feel connected with the natural world in a way you just can't in clothes."
Grumpy couldn't agree more.
Now I know some of you are a little shy about appearing outdoors totally naked, but you shouldn't be. For one thing, some of our most prominent political leaders are totally on board with it. For example:
President Barack Obama. "Once we discard the trappings of clothing, we see that people are just plain folks," says the President. "We need to focus on things we have in common that bring folks together and gardening naked is one. Count me in."
World Naked Gardening Day has no political agenda. Thus, it garnered widespread support from Democrats, Republicans, Libertarians, Tea Partiers, and Rush Limbaugh.
Kentucky Senator Mitch McConnell gives naked gardening the thumb's up. "We're all about horses in the Bluegrass State," says Mitch, "and gardening naked makes me feel like a stud."
Political endorsements just keep coming. Here's an exchange Grumpy overheard last week in the nation's capital.
Vice-President Joe Biden: "So, Sarah, I hear you'll be 'letting your hair down' on World Naked Gardening Day."
Sarah Palin: "You can see me from my house!"
A Word of Caution Whether with your friends or all alone, gardening naked has its risks. First of all, men should keep their distance from hedge trimmers, shears, pruners, saws, scythes, and even weed whackers. Secondly, May marks the beginning of tick season in many areas of the world. So be sure someone spends at least 20 minutes giving you a thorough inspection following your naked day in the garden.
What To Plant Although you're free to plant anything you want on World Naked Gardening Day, some plants seem perfect fits. They include:
1. 'Buff Beauty' rose
2. Naked ladies (Lycoris squamigera)
3. Fanny's aster (Symphyotichum oblongifolium 'Fanny')
4. Madonna lily (Lilium candidum), because Madonna is often naked
5. Led Zepplin's Robert Plant totally naked
For More Information You can find out more about this wonderful event by emailing Mark Storey at firstname.lastname@example.org. See you -- all of you -- in the garden on May 2!