Hi, everybody! My name is Chuckie Crawfish. The Grumpy Gardener, who is busy preparing a story on Build Now, a program sparking the resurgence of devastated New Orleans neighborhoods, has agreed to let me be a guest blogger. I'm so excited! So few crustaceans have ever been given a voice in the media.

I'm an honored guest at Build Now's annual crawfish boil. I've never been to one before, but it sounds like a lot of fun. My homies and I just can't wait to see what happens.

We're hanging out, just chillin y'all, in those blue buckets. Meanwhile, our people friends have filled three stainless steel tanks with water. Now they're connecting propane to the tanks. I think we're going to the spa!


Our human friends love us! Here's one of them pouring Worcestershire sauce into our spas. They say this will detox our shells and make us feel great. Bring it on!


Next, they add some fresh-squeezed orange juice. We appreciate this, because as you know, crawfish can't manufacture their own Vitamin C.


One thing I've alway liked about spas is all the special products they use to make your experience a once-in-a-lifetime event. It won't be long now.


I think the water in our spas is just right. But they first have to remove us from the muddy water in our buckets. I understand. Who wants to bathe with a dirty crawfish? OK, homies, ready to hit the spa? PARTY ON, GARTH!!!!


OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! Turn it down, will you? AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!



Grumpy here. It is my unfortunate duty to report the sudden and totally expected demise of Chuckie and his friends. Who knew that crawfish were allergic to boiling water? They're broken out all over. Oh well -- there's only one to do now to give meaning to Chuckie's sacrifice.


A thirst-quenching cup of NOLA'S Hurricane Saison beer is but the first step on my long road to recovery.


And Now for Some Gardening


Grumpy realizes that many of you come to this site actually expected to learn about gardening. No plant fascinates Southerners more than their beloved crepe myrtles. So if you're a beginner who wants a crepe myrtle, but isn't sure how to grow one, click HERE to view my very entertaining and informative instructional video, directed (of course) by Quentin Tarantino.