What Southern Women Really Think About Press-On Pedicures
Southern women are not afraid to experiment when it comes to beauty. Bangs? Sure, it’ll just grow back. Retinol? Mama swore by it. Petroleum jelly? Tell us where and how much to slather.
But mark my words: If you asked a Southern woman to stick fake toenails onto her ten real ones, she’d cut a look that says you’re crazier than a betsy bug.
Not that Southern women don’t do their nails at home. We do, and often. But the idea of gluing on plasticky nails doesn’t necessarily tickle our fancy. You know, different strokes.
So…a press-on pedicure. What exactly is it?
Just like those plasticky fake nails you’d find in the drugstore nail section, a press-on pedicure comes as a set of painted “nails” to be trimmed and fit to your real nails. As the name suggests, you press the trimmed nail onto your own and let the adhesive do its thing. Most claim to hang tight for up to a week.
Now it sounds easy enough, right? *cue post-traumatic flashback from when we tried putting on fake nails at a sleepover in middle school* (My friend Tibby said it would look cool. It did not. And I woke up surrounded by a graveyard of popped-off plastic.)
Some say that the biggest issue with fake nails is that even when they’re applied perfectly, it often looks like a gel manicure—but one that’s been applied too thickly, two coats too many. It looks slightly too raised from your nail bed, which will instantly tip off any nosy Nancy at the grocery store.
Besides, how can we believe a mass-produced nail set is going to fit the toes of every woman in the world? We need answers!
Which brings us to our main concern: durability. Fake nails pop off. At times that are unforeseen and undesirable. Really, that’s what makes Southern women the most skeptical about the press-on pedicure.
Can we risk a bubblegum pink toenail popping off in the morning meeting? One second we’re talking profit margins, the next there’s a rogue toenail on the loose? Maybe we’re old-fashioned, but that’s just not the Southern way.
There are, of course, a few necessary exceptions. For those dealing with a toenail or two that’s in recovery (toe-stubbers and ex-ballerinas and whatnot), a press-on pedicure can help conceal any insecurities. This especially comes in handy for summertime sandal-wearing and occasions that call for strappy heels and manicured toes. If you so please, shop a classic nude pedicure set here.
Plus, plenty of people love press-on nails. And we admire any woman who stands by what she believes in, beauty-related and otherwise. If you’ve never tried them—not even at a middle school sleepover—we say make it a girls’ night. We’ll bring the pizza, you bring the toenails.
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