This is not a drill.

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Some Southern women like the natural look. You know, no makeup. They say it's pointless with summertime sweat (erm, glow) and chopping onions and whatnot. Some Southern women like the "more is more" look. They say there's nothing a good set of lashes can't fix and red lipstick is classic for a reason. Some Southern women fall in the middle. Like me.

I love mascara—as in, really love it. (Red lipstick…not so much.) I dabble in both drugstore and designer formulas and have tried so many that I could fix up a pro-con spreadsheet on the matter. For a mascara to really impress me, I want my flutter to hit the trifecta of volume, length, and curl.

My research has found the following: There are two drugstore formulas that are better than all drugstore mascaras and most designer mascaras; and there are two designer ones that are the absolute best. End-all-be-all type of stuff. For now, I won't name all names, but I will name one.

One of the top two mascaras on the market—according to my extensive testing, which is (of course) entirely subjective—is Lancome's Monsieur Big Mascara. Delivering unrivaled volume and drama, she's a queen amongst girls. She's your secret weapon on a Friday night. She's what you pull out when you want your lashes to be traffic-stopping and jaw-dropping thick.


I'm not the only one who thinks so, in case you don't trust a total stranger on the Internet. You'll find 1,300 five-star reviews on Sephora, another 1,300 five-star reviews on Ulta, nearly 1,000 five-star reviews on Macy's, and nearly 800 five-star reviews on Nordstrom. Can you trust a ton of total strangers?

When describing this mascara formula, Lancome poses quite the argument: Do you want your biggest, boldest lashes yet? Do you want those lashes to last a full 24 hours? Do you want no touch-ups, smudging, or flaking?

At this point, we're practically shouting "Yes! Yes!" at the computer screen, just like Aunt Birdie used to do while night-binging QVC at 3 a.m.

The final blow came from Ulta's beauty sale this morning: Do you want to get them at half price?

Tear trickles down face. In the distance, sirens.

For one day, and one day only, you can shop Lancome Monsieur Big Mascara—originally $25—for $12.50, as part of Ulta's 21 Days of Beauty Event. That's today, Friday, September 6th, 2019. You can find it here.

On your marks, ladies: Go forth, and get that flutter—before it sells out. Which it will.

Get your lashes in tip-top shape before even a single swipe of this mascara—here's how to get long, healthy lashes á la Meghan Markle.