Oh my gourd these are hilarious.

By Rachel Mulcahy
August 06, 2019
Credit: Jeremiah Schumacher/Getty Images

‘Tis the season for pumpkin spice and everything pumpkin. Fall hasn't officially begun until pumpkin patches line the town and pumpkin spice lattes become the ultimate drink of choice. Embrace the fall season with a visit to the pumpkin patch with your friends, and claim the title for pun-queen when you post funny pumpkin photos of your #squashgoals on Instagram. Whether you're whipping up a sweet pumpkin treat or carving faces in jack-o'-lanterns at home, we came up with clever puns that are sure to get laughs all season long. Caption your funniest pumpkin pictures with these crafty puns and really give ‘em pumpkin to talk about.

Funny, Short Pumpkin Puns

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"Life is gourd."

Credit: Southern Living

"Pumpkin spice and everything nice."

"Let's spice things up."

"Let's give ‘em pumpkin to talk about."

"Pun-kin patch!"

"Squash Goals."

"The smashing pumpkins."

"Let's carve out some fun this October!"

"Happy Hollow-ween."

"Have a gourd time on Halloween."

"Oh my gourd. I love fall."

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"Orange you pumped for Halloween?"

"Here's the scoop – without you, my brains would turn to mush!"

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"Carving out fun."

"Hey Jack, this really is a hollow-ween for you!"

"I'm hollow inside."

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"I'm a pun-king."

"You're gourdgeous."


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"I only have pies for you."


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"Go big or gourd home."

"I've never met a pumpkin I didn't like."

"At this point my blood type is pumpkin spice."

"You are the pick of the patch."

Clever Pumpkin Jokes

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"Who helps the little pumpkins cross the road safely? The crossing gourd."

"What is a pumpkin's favorite sport? Squash."

"How do you repair a broken jack o' lantern? Use a pumpkin patch."

"What's the ratio of a pumpkin's circumference to its diameter? Pumpkin pi."

"What do you get when you drop a pumpkin? Squash."

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"What do you call a fat Jack-o-Lantern? A plumpkin."

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"What did the pumpkin say to the pumpkin carver? Cut it out."

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"What did the pumpkin say after thanksgiving? Good-pie everyone."

"What do you call an athletic pumpkin? A jock o' lantern."

"What did the pumpkin say to the pie baker? Use apples instead."

"When asked how he was feeling, what did the pumpkin say? I'm vine, thanks for asking.

WATCH: Halloween Pumpkin Carving Ideas

Once you have the perfect pumpkin pun to use as your Instagram caption, try out some of our favorite Halloween pumpkin carving ideas to use as a festive photo prop.