Culture and Lifestyle Quotes and Sayings Things Southerners Say When It's Hot Spring is here and summer's coming. We all need to brush up on the heat, the humidity, and those blue blazes. By Valerie Fraser Luesse Valerie Fraser Luesse Valerie Fraser Luesse has been affiliated with Southern Living and its parent company since 1988. She has written some 30 Southern Journal essays for the magazine and extensively covered the unique cultural pockets of the South, including Acadian Louisiana, the Mississippi Delta, South Florida, and the Outer Banks of North Carolina. She released her fourth Southern novel with Revell in 2021. Southern Living's editorial guidelines Updated on October 14, 2022 Share Tweet Pin Email The South is a land of epic weather. In a single year, we can experience hurricanes, tornados, floods, droughts, a blizzard's worth of snow, and a heat index in the triple digits. But there's something about Southern heat that speaks to us like nothing else. It's our sweat badge of courage—proof, in our minds, that we can stand mercury levels which would surely undo our northern brethren. And we do it gracefully. Southern women don't sweat—we "glisten." The epicenter of heat-tolerance pride is, of course, Texas. Move there from anyplace else, and soon you'll be calling the folks back home, all full of yourself and spouting off about the cold snap you're having in Fort Worth, what with the temperature dipping down into the 90s. One Texan who was in the process of car shopping said she had two non-negotiable requirements for a vehicle: cruise control and air conditioning. And no wonder. It's entirely possible to get a February sunburn in Texas. It's not enough, of course, for Southerners to bravely endure the heat. No, we need to talk about it—specifically, we search for ever more colorful ways of describing the heat's intensity. Now that spring has sprung, summer can't be far away. We should all prepare. Recently, we polled our Southern braintrust on Facebook and asked for things Southerners say when it's hot. Let us know if we missed any. And other things Southerners say when it's hot. Getty/Michael Ochs Archives We appreciate the classics: It's not the heat—it's the humidity. It's hotter'n blue blazes. Is it hot enough for ya? Man, it's hot as all get-out! It must be 90 in the shade. This one's gonna be a scorcher. You could fry an egg on the sidewalk. You could fry an egg on the hood of that car. We can go all botanical: It's hotter'n a blister bug in a pepper patch. And then there's animal husbandry: It's so dang hot that I just saw a hound dog chasing a rabbit—and they were both walking. We consult the radio. "Hotter than noon on the fourth of July," "hotter than a pepper sprout," and "hotter than a $2 pistol," came to us in song, thanks to Shenandoah, Johnny and June, and George "Possum" Jones, respectively. We are reminded of the hottest place we've ever heard of (which we're not entirely comfortable saying out loud, so we sometimes spell it): Hot as Hades Hotter than H-E double hockey sticks Hot as H-E double toothpicks Hot as the hinges on the gates of Hades Hotter than six shades of hell Hotter than Satan's house cat Even Satan's sweatin' today. Hotter than hell and half of Georgia Speaking of Georgia . . . Hotter than Georgia asphalt But really . . . how hot is it again? It's so hot the swimming pool is boiling. It's so hot the ice cream truck melted. It's like a steam bath out here. It's like walking through soup out here. If it gets any hotter, I'll have to take off stuff I really ought to keep on. You could have a stroke out here. Good Lord, I'm dying out here! I'm wilting. I'm burning slap up. I'm sweatin' like a hog. Could I stick my face in your deep-freeze for just a second? Somebody fan me. Y'all mind if we just stay inside? Have y'all got any tea? How many days till fall? This heat makes me tired. Crank up that A.C. till it's blowing snowballs. I'm just roasting! I've never been a summer person. Let's move to the mountains. Now that we're all ready to talk about the heat, how about more things Southern? Watch this: Got any only-in-the-South expressions to share? Let us hear from you in comments. We'd be willing to bet you've heard some that we missed. Was this page helpful? Thanks for your feedback! Tell us why! Other Submit