Culture and Lifestyle Southern Traditions We Want to Bring Back–And You Will Too! By Melissa Locker Melissa Locker Melissa Locker writes about food, drinks, culture, gardening, and the joys of Waffle House Southern Living's editorial guidelines Updated on September 21, 2020 Share Tweet Pin Email Trending Videos Photo: Harold M. Lambert/Lambert/Getty Images While we realize that the days of white gloves and calling cards may be gone, good manners and solid traditions should never go out of style. After all, Southern gentility, hospitality, and good manners are as central to a Southerner's identity as sipping a glass of sweet tea on a hot day. While the world is changing, things like humility, courtesy, and basic politeness are mainstays of any civilized society and that should never change. 01 of 23 Saying Please and Thank You George Marks/Retrofile/Getty Images Saying please and thank you are the bedrock of human civility. Children who have just learned to talk can master the art of expressing gratitude, yet many adults have seemingly forgotten the skill. 02 of 23 Saying Sir and Ma'am Hirz/Getty Images When children call adults sir or ma'am it is a sign of respect and teaching children to respect each other and their elders is important. As the Manners Mentor website says, "Respect is so important to emphasize to our children because it's the cornerstone of other invaluable character traits such as tolerance, selflessness, giving, and compassion." 03 of 23 Proper Table Manners George Rinhart/Corbis via Getty Images You don't have to know the proper placement of an oyster fork in a formal table setting to have good table manners. The rules are the same for children or adults: Put your napkin in your lap, talk to people on your left and your right, wait until everyone has their food before eating, and, of course, no phones at the dinner table. (As for that oyster fork, it goes to the right of the spoons, according to Emily Post.) 04 of 23 Cursive Harold M. Lambert/Lambert/Getty Images Cursive writing has been around since at least the 19th century and there's no reason that it should die out now just because youngsters prefer texting. Plus, the flowing nature of cursive makes writing thank you cards and Christmas letters that much easier. 05 of 23 Handwritten Thank You Notes George Marks/Retrofile/Getty Images Gracious guests always send thank you cards to their hosts as soon as possible after the event. It's the least you can do to thank them for their hospitality and text messages just don't carry the same gratitude as a handwritten note. 06 of 23 Recipe Cards Brianna Soukup/Portland Press Herald via Getty Images When picnic companions beg for the recipe for your lemon Bundt cake, you could just send them a link, but it's far nicer to write out the recipe on a card for sharing. 07 of 23 Sunday Suppers Lambert/Getty Images Between PTA meetings, after-school baseball practice, and youth group gatherings, it can be hard for busy families to sit down together for every meal. Sunday supper, though, should be a non-negotiable, can't miss event. It's the perfect time for families to share a meal, catch up and, well, be a family. 08 of 23 Holding the Door for Others Fox Photos/Getty Images If you've gone to the trouble of opening the door, it's easy enough to hold it for another minute or two to help the person using the door after you. Naturally, if someone does hold the door for you, be sure to say thank you as you walk through. 09 of 23 Welcoming New Neighbors Harold M. Lambert/Lambert/Getty Images When someone moves to the neighborhood or the apartment complex, make them feel like they've really come home. Bake them a banana bread or an apple pie, or if you're not a baker, simply buy an assortment of treats that will make them feel welcome. 10 of 23 Good Handshake General Photographic Agency/Getty Images Make a good first impression with a solid handshake that won't leave your new friend wishing they had never stuck out their hand. If you're not sure where your handshake rates, ask your most honest friend for an assessment. 11 of 23 Phone Calls Archive Photos/Getty Images Yes, it's easier to text, but phone calls are a much better way to catch up with a friend or family member 12 of 23 Punctuality Cleland Rimmer/Getty Image We're all busy, so don't be rude by showing up late. When you make a plan, stick to it, and don't waste someone else's time by failing to live up to your word. 13 of 23 Church Hats Kirn Vintage Stock/Corbis via Getty Images Dressing up for church is a Southern tradition and for women that frequently topping your outfit with a church hat. Whether you opt for a chapeau that is elegant, bold, understated, or over-the-top is between you and your fashion gods, although perhaps be mindful of whoever has to sit behind you in church. 14 of 23 Smiling at Strangers Leonard Mccombe/The LIFE Images Collection/Getty Images While strangers get a bad rap, as William Butler Yeats said, strangers are "only friends you haven't yet met" and that is particularly true in the South. The art of turning strangers into friends starts with a smile. 15 of 23 Eye Contact George Marks/Retrofile/Getty Images Making eye contact is the easiest way to let someone know that you see them and recognize their shared humanity. When you shake someone's hand, make eye contact. When you pass someone on the street or at the grocery store, make eye contact— and perhaps even smile. 16 of 23 Hospitality (Open Door Policy) Bettmann/Contributor/Getty Images True Southern hospitality means an open-door policy to family, neighbors, co-workers, friends, friends of friends, and even friendly strangers. While times have changed enough that you do need to trust your instincts, generally, when someone shows up on your porch, greet them with a smile and maybe a glass of sweet tea. 17 of 23 Helping Your Neighbors in Times of Happiness and Sorrow Jamie Hodgson/Getty Images The rules are simple: Is there a new baby in the neighborhood? Bring them a casserole. Is your neighbor mourning a loss? Bring them a casserole. While the casserole is negotiable, the act of showing your neighbors that you support them through food (or flowers or some other creative idea) is not. 18 of 23 RSVP Housewife/Getty Images While Southerners are known for their hospitality and will undoubtedly always greet a friend with a smile, it's still polite to let your hostess know whether or not you plan to take them up on their offer. Email, text, or (gasp!) call to give regrets or ask what you can bring to the event. 19 of 23 Loyalty Dr. Paul Wolff & Tritschler/Corbis via Getty Images Picking a side and sticking to it, is just another example of living up to your word. Be loyal to your family, your friends, your sorority, your football team, your state, and your country. 20 of 23 Hostess Gifts George Marks/Retrofile/Getty Images When someone has invited you into their home, grab a bottle of wine or champagne or bring your hosts your favorite pralines or divinity for them to enjoy later. 21 of 23 No Gossiping Ivan Dmitri/Michael Ochs Archives/Getty Images If there is anything that we learned from multiple viewings of Steel Magnolias is that it's almost impossible to avoid gossiping at the beauty parlor—and same goes for brunch or book club. It's hard to avoid gossip, but it's important to try. 22 of 23 Avoiding Swearing in Public Underwood Archives/Getty Images On a similar note, for gentility's sake, try to avoid swearing in public. It's not always possible, but any Southern woman should be able to make her point loud and clear without swearing. For proof, look no further than Designing Women's Julia Sugarbaker. 23 of 23 Sunday Best Smith Collection/Gado/Getty Images Getting everyone out the door to church or brunch or both on a Sunday morning can be a challenge—and trying to put a tie on a little boy or wrestling a baby into tights can drive many to prayer—but donning your Sunday best is still a tradition worth keeping. Just remember, it is only once a week. Was this page helpful? Thanks for your feedback! Tell us why! Other Submit