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  3. Southern Traditions We Want to Bring Back–And You Will Too!

Southern Traditions We Want to Bring Back–And You Will Too!

Melissa Locker
By Melissa Locker
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Two Girls Practicing Writing Cursive on Blackboard
Credit: Harold M. Lambert/Lambert/Getty Images

While we realize that the days of white gloves and calling cards may be gone, good manners and solid traditions should never go out of style. After all, Southern gentility, hospitality, and good manners are as central to a Southerner's identity as sipping a glass of sweet tea on a hot day. While the world is changing, things like humility, courtesy, and basic politeness are mainstays of any civilized society and that should never change.

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Saying Please and Thank You

Father Giving Daughter Toy at Christmas
Credit: George Marks/Retrofile/Getty Images

Saying please and thank you are the bedrock of human civility. Children who have just learned to talk can master the art of expressing gratitude, yet many adults have seemingly forgotten the skill.

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Saying Sir and Ma'am

Little Girl Curtseying to Parents
Credit: Hirz/Getty Images

When children call adults sir or ma'am it is a sign of respect and teaching children to respect each other and their elders is important. As the Manners Mentor website says, "Respect is so important to emphasize to our children because it's the cornerstone of other invaluable character traits such as tolerance, selflessness, giving, and compassion."

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Proper Table Manners

Broadway Meloday Movie with Judy Garland and Sophie Tucker
Credit: George Rinhart/Corbis via Getty Images

You don't have to know the proper placement of an oyster fork in a formal table setting to have good table manners. The rules are the same for children or adults: Put your napkin in your lap, talk to people on your left and your right, wait until everyone has their food before eating, and, of course, no phones at the dinner table. (As for that oyster fork, it goes to the right of the spoons, according to Emily Post.)

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Cursive

Two Girls Practicing Writing Cursive on Blackboard
Credit: Harold M. Lambert/Lambert/Getty Images

Cursive writing has been around since at least the 19th century and there's no reason that it should die out now just because youngsters prefer texting. Plus, the flowing nature of cursive makes writing thank you cards and Christmas letters that much easier.

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Handwritten Thank You Notes

Woman Writing Letter
Credit: George Marks/Retrofile/Getty Images

Gracious guests always send thank you cards to their hosts as soon as possible after the event. It's the least you can do to thank them for their hospitality and text messages just don't carry the same gratitude as a handwritten note.

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Recipe Cards

Old Recipe Cards and Box
Credit: Brianna Soukup/Portland Press Herald via Getty Images

When picnic companions beg for the recipe for your lemon Bundt cake, you could just send them a link (to SouthernLiving.com, of course), but it's far nicer to write out the recipe on a card for sharing.

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Sunday Suppers

Woman Bringing Roast to Table for Family Dinner
Credit: Lambert/Getty Images

Between PTA meetings, after-school baseball practice, and youth group gatherings, it can be hard for busy families to sit down together for every meal. Sunday supper, though, should be a non-negotiable, can't miss event. It's the perfect time for families to share a meal, catch up and, well, be a family.

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Holding the Door for Others

Young Boy Holding Car Door Open for Sister
Credit: Fox Photos/Getty Images

If you've gone to the trouble of opening the door, it's easy enough to hold it for another minute or two to help the person using the door after you. Naturally, if someone does hold the door for you, be sure to say thank you as you walk through.

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Welcoming New Neighbors

Woman Holding Apple Pie
Credit: Harold M. Lambert/Lambert/Getty Images

When someone moves to the neighborhood or the apartment complex, make them feel like they've really come home. Bake them a banana bread or an apple pie, or if you're not a baker, simply buy an assortment of treats that will make them feel welcome.

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Good Handshake

Young Boys Shaking Hands
Credit: General Photographic Agency/Getty Images

Make a good first impression with a solid handshake that won't leave your new friend wishing they had never stuck out their hand. If you're not sure where your handshake rates, ask your most honest friend for an assessment.

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Phone Calls

Woman Talking on Phone While Holding Records
Credit: Archive Photos/Getty Images

Yes, it's easier to text, but phone calls are a much better way to catch up with a friend or family member

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Punctuality

Man in Front of Wall of Clocks
Credit: Cleland Rimmer/Getty Image

We're all busy, so don't be rude by showing up late. When you make a plan, stick to it, and don't waste someone else's time by failing to live up to your word.

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Church Hats

Woman Wearing Church Hats
Credit: Kirn Vintage Stock/Corbis via Getty Images

Dressing up for church is a Southern tradition and for women that frequently topping your outfit with a church hat. Whether you opt for a chapeau that is elegant, bold, understated, or over-the-top is between you and your fashion gods, although perhaps be mindful of whoever has to sit behind you in church.

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Smiling at Strangers

Woman Smiling at Man
Credit: Leonard Mccombe/The LIFE Images Collection/Getty Images

While strangers get a bad rap, as William Butler Yeats said, strangers are "only friends you haven't yet met" and that is particularly true in the South. The art of turning strangers into friends starts with a smile.

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Eye Contact

Two Women Talking
Credit: George Marks/Retrofile/Getty Images

Making eye contact is the easiest way to let someone know that you see them and recognize their shared humanity. When you shake someone's hand, make eye contact. When you pass someone on the street or at the grocery store, make eye contact— and perhaps even smile.

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Hospitality (Open Door Policy)

Woman Greeting Man at Front Door
Credit: Bettmann/Contributor/Getty Images

True Southern hospitality means an open-door policy to family, neighbors, co-workers, friends, friends of friends, and even friendly strangers. While times have changed enough that you do need to trust your instincts, generally, when someone shows up on your porch, greet them with a smile and maybe a glass of sweet tea.

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Helping Your Neighbors in Times of Happiness and Sorrow

Woman Holding Casserole
Credit: Jamie Hodgson/Getty Images

The rules are simple: Is there a new baby in the neighborhood? Bring them a casserole. Is your neighbor mourning a loss? Bring them a casserole. While the casserole is negotiable, the act of showing your neighbors that you support them through food (or flowers or some other creative idea) is not.

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RSVP

Woman Talking on Phone Taking Notes
Credit: Housewife/Getty Images

While Southerners are known for their hospitality and will undoubtedly always greet a friend with a smile, it's still polite to let your hostess know whether or not you plan to take them up on their offer. Email, text, or (gasp!) call to give regrets or ask what you can bring to the event.

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Loyalty

Schoolgirls Walking and Hugging
Credit: Dr. Paul Wolff & Tritschler/Corbis via Getty Images

Picking a side and sticking to it, is just another example of living up to your word. Be loyal to your family, your friends, your sorority, your football team, your state, and your country.

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Hostess Gifts

Woman Holding Gift
Credit: George Marks/Retrofile/Getty Images

When someone has invited you into their home, grab a bottle of wine or champagne or bring your hosts your favorite pralines or divinity for them to enjoy later.

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No Gossiping

Women Gossiping at the Hair Salon
Credit: Ivan Dmitri/Michael Ochs Archives/Getty Images

If there is anything that we learned from multiple viewings of Steel Magnolias is that it's almost impossible to avoid gossiping at the beauty parlor—and same goes for brunch or book club. It's hard to avoid gossip, but it's important to try.

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Avoiding Swearing in Public

Woman With Hand Over Her Mouth
Credit: Underwood Archives/Getty Images

On a similar note, for gentility's sake, try to avoid swearing in public. It's not always possible, but any Southern woman should be able to make her point loud and clear without swearing. For proof, look no further than Designing Women's Julia Sugarbaker.

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Sunday Best

Two Sisters in Their Church Clothes
Credit: Smith Collection/Gado/Getty Images

Getting everyone out the door to church or brunch or both on a Sunday morning can be a challenge—and trying to put a tie on a little boy or wrestling a baby into tights can drive many to prayer—but donning your Sunday best is still a tradition worth keeping. Just remember, it is only once a week.

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    1 of 23 Saying Please and Thank You
    2 of 23 Saying Sir and Ma'am
    3 of 23 Proper Table Manners
    4 of 23 Cursive
    5 of 23 Handwritten Thank You Notes
    6 of 23 Recipe Cards
    7 of 23 Sunday Suppers
    8 of 23 Holding the Door for Others
    9 of 23 Welcoming New Neighbors
    10 of 23 Good Handshake
    11 of 23 Phone Calls
    12 of 23 Punctuality
    13 of 23 Church Hats
    14 of 23 Smiling at Strangers
    15 of 23 Eye Contact
    16 of 23 Hospitality (Open Door Policy)
    17 of 23 Helping Your Neighbors in Times of Happiness and Sorrow
    18 of 23 RSVP
    19 of 23 Loyalty
    20 of 23 Hostess Gifts
    21 of 23 No Gossiping
    22 of 23 Avoiding Swearing in Public
    23 of 23 Sunday Best

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