Is It Okay To Laugh At A Southern Epitaph?
Nowhere is our quirky sense of humor more evident than on our tombstones.
You can't rattle a cemetery gate without shaking loose another collection of epitaph examples on the internet. Some of these tombstone epitaphs are so famous that they've been repeated at any number of burial grounds: I TOLD YOU I WAS SICK
On her rose-adorned headstone in Key West, Gloria M. Russell reports that there's no cause for alarm: I'M JUST RESTING MY EYES
Meanwhile, Marguerite Dewey Daniels' epitaph, inscribed on a stone in Richmond, Virginia, earns a spot on many epitaph lists, for obvious reasons: SHE ALWAYS SAID HER FEET WERE KILLING HER, BUT NOBODY BELIEVED HER.
Most of these colorful epitaphs would play well anywhere, but we have to wonder: Are there such things as only-in-the-South epitaphs? If so, we think their dominant characteristic would be humor. (And yes, it's perfectly fine to die laughing at our tombstones. It just kills us when you do that! LOL)
We polled our Facebook Brain Trust and then put pen to paper. Here's what we came up with:
I LEFT YOU A CASSEROLE IN THE FREEZER
(Bring to room temp before baking at 350)
WELL, SHUT MY MOUTH!
IT LOOKS JUST LIKE TEXAS UP HERE!
IS THIS WHAT THEY CALL "OVER" TIME?
- SOMEBODY UNPLUG MY CURLING IRON
- AND THROW AWAY THE AQUA NET.
- MY HAIR IS NATURALLY POOFY NOW.
WHAT CAN I BRING?
CAN YOU GET THROUGH THOSE GATES
WITH A STUDENT ID?
SORRY I DIDN'T HAVE TIME TO START THE SLOW COOKER
GET YOUR MUDDY SHOES OFF MY GREEN CARPET
DO I SMELL BACON?
IT WAS THE PIE THAT DID ME IN
FOR THE RECORD, I STILL HATE CONGEALED SALAD
HEY, Y'ALL, WATCH'IS!
DADDY'S GONE TO THAT GREAT RECLINER IN THE SKY
MAMA SAID IT WOULDN'T LAST
PLEASE TELL ME THOSE AREN'T CARNATIONS
HEAVEN CALLED . . . PEPAW ANSWERED
MEMAW SAYS HEY
I'M BOUND FOR GLORY, SO FILL 'ER UP!
WATCH: Things You'll Only Hear At A Southern Funeral
"As soon as I find my flowers, I want to get a seat on one of the back pews in case we get a chance to slip out because I'm not going to the cemetery. Are you going to the cemetery? Because I'm definitely not going to the cemetery."