Sophia's Best One-Liners on Golden Girls
"You drink out of a brown paper bag and suddenly everybody’s your friend."
Sophia: You drink out of a brown paper bag and suddenly everybody’s your friend.
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"Why wouldn’t you? You’re both naked."
Blanche: Mel makes me feel young and beautiful and special. When we’re together we laugh a lot.
Sophia: Why wouldn’t you? You’re both naked.
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"Your heart's in the right place, but I don't know where the hell your brain is."
Sophia: Your heart's in the right place, but I don't know where the hell your brain is.
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"She happens to like girls instead of guys..."
Sophia: She happens to like girls instead of guys. Some people like cats instead of dogs. Frankly, I’d rather live with a lesbian than a cat. Unless the lesbian sheds, then I don’t know.
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"Have I given you any indication at all that I care?"
Sophia: Have I given you any indication at all that I care?
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"Get to the part where they steal the brain out of the dead body and sew it into your head."
Sophia: Get to the part where they steal the brain out of the dead body and sew it into your head.
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"May you put your dentures in upside down and chew your head off."
Sophia: May you put your dentures in upside down and chew your head off.
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I always wondered why blessings wore disguises. If I were a blessing, I’d run around naked.
Sophia: I always wondered why blessings wore disguises. If I were a blessing, I’d run around naked.
8 of 20
"...if they serve me cauliflower..."
Blanche: But you have to promise me you won’t do anything to embarrass me.
Sophia: I’ll try but if they serve me cauliflower, it’s in God’s hands.
9 of 20
"Jealousy is a very ugly thing, Dorothy, and so are you in anything backless."
Sophia: Jealousy is a very ugly thing, Dorothy, and so are you in anything backless.
10 of 20
Meet The Real-Life Golden Girls
The Golden Girls are a Southern staple, giving us life lessons on love, friendship, and grace. For five decades, three real-life Golden Girls – Barbara Fletcher and her roommates Nancy Fassett, 85, and Margaret Sugg, 87, have lived under one roof – supporting each other through career changes, relationships and all of life’s travails. Check out this clip from our friends at People to take a look into the life of these fun-loving women. Visit People.com for the full story.
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"Finally, now we can break out that bottle of champagne we’ve been saving."
Rose: Dorothy, a man called for you while you were out.
Sophia: Finally, now we can break out that bottle of champagne we’ve been saving.
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"I just drink whatever’s in the glass..."
Sophia: People waste their time pondering whether a glass is half empty or half full. Me, I just drink whatever’s in the glass.
13 of 20
"You’re gonna lay in an inch of water?"
Blanche: Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to relax in a hot, steamy bath with just enough water to cover my perky bosoms.
Sophia: You’re gonna lay in an inch of water?
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"Sticks and stones can break your bones, but cement pays homage to tradition."
Sophia: Sticks and stones can break your bones, but cement pays homage to tradition.
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"If this sauce was a person, I’d get naked and make love to it."
Sophia: If this sauce was a person, I’d get naked and make love to it.
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"I know you don’t get many dates, Dorothy, but stick with what you know."
Dorothy: Ma. What would you do if you found out one of your children was ... gay?
Sophia: I know you don’t get many dates, Dorothy, but stick with what you know.
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"You’d kill your sister over a pamphlet?"
Dorothy: I would kill Gloria if she ever wrote about my sexual escapades.
Sophia: You’d kill your sister over a pamphlet?
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"They’ll think it’s Tuesday."
Dorothy: Why can’t you sleep on the couch and give Clayton and Doug your room?
Blanche: Are you crazy? What will the neighbors think if they see two men in my bedroom?
Sophia: They’ll think it’s Tuesday.
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"No matter how bad things get, remember these sage words: You’re old, you sag, get over it."
Sophia: No matter how bad things get, remember these sage words: You’re old, you sag, get over it.