Who ate all the dip, reckon Nick cuts his own grass, and THROW THE BALL!!

By Valerie Fraser Luesse
football fan cheering
Who ate all the dip, reckon Nick cuts his own grass, and THROW THE BALL!!
| Credit: Hulton Archive/Getty Images

The SEC Championship Game is looming large, with the Georgia Dawgs and the Alabama Crimson Tide ready to face off at Atlanta's Mercedes-Benz Stadium on Saturday. Big Al, Hairy Dawg, and Uga are likely packing as we speak. So are thousands of fans, but even when the stadium's so full it couldn't squeeze in another soul, that's just a fraction of the crowd who will be watching the game, glued to their TV sets (and screaming at their TV sets).

Before you even say it, we know. The SEC isn't the only college conference that Southerners are passionate about. But in our defense, we're based in Birmingham—shouting distance from Tuscaloosa and a tank of gas from Athens. Some of us have spent as much time at Atlanta's Hartsfield as we've spent at Mama's. We're hearing a LOT about this game. And that has us thinking about the things we will hear DURING the game—those funny football quotes and other memorable commentary on the SEC Football Championship.

We reached out to our Facebook Brain Trust and asked: What do Southerners say/holler during the big game? Here's what they said—tell us what we missed:

  1. "I'm going to watch it on the bedroom TV. Y'all are making me nervous."
  2. "Who ate all the dip?"
  3. "I'm glad we left for the game two days before kickoff so we could be sure we got through Atlanta traffic."
  4. "RUN THE BALL!" (following an unsuccessful passing play)
  5. "THROW THE BALL!" (following an unsuccessful running play)
  6. "I don't know why we have to listen to those dang commentators at half-time. I want to see the bands."
  7. "It's just a ballgame, y'all."
  8. "That running back was in. Ref couldn't make a decent call if his Mama was watching."
  9. "That running back was outta bounds. Even Memaw could see that—without her bifocals."
  10. "Ooooh, Saban's mad as h#!!
  11. "I thought Kirby was gonna rip that headset apart!"
  12. "Reckon Nick cuts his own grass?"
  13. "I'm too nervous to watch. Just tell me if we make the extra point."
  14. "Don't you think it's a bad sign when the quarterback has grass stains all over his back, and we haven't even made it to the half?"
  15. "Mama wants to know if anybody has some Valium for Daddy—or even Tylenol PM?"

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When this football fan throws a party, we're on our way over because we know there will be plenty of good food and even better company. Cheers, y'all!