Things You'll Only Hear on a Southern Road Trip
Let’s blow up our floats as soon as we cross the Florida line!
Tis the high season for family vacations in the South—and for funny road trip quotes we’ve all heard at one time or another. Southerners are always good for a colorful turn of phrase, but load us into an SUV with a cooler full of cold drinks and Mama’s giant monogrammed snack tote? We’ll lay some Southern sayings on you that you won’t soon forget. Witness our most recent Facebook Brain Trust poll. Here’s what those readers are saying as they streak down the interstate highway, bound for sandy shores and mountaintops, Dollywood and Disney World. How about you?
Look! Pull Over!
“Look! Boiled peanuts. Pull over so we can get a bag for the road!”
“Look! Florida tomatoes. Pull over so we can get a basket for the condo!”
“Look! A Stuckey’s. Pull over so we can get a Pecan Log Roll!”
“Look! A cotton field. Pull over and I’ll ask these people if we can pick some.”
Favorite Stops (And Clean Restrooms)
“Let’s stop at Priester’s. We can pick up some pecans for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Plus they’ve got clean restrooms.”
“Let’s stop at Peach Park. We can pick up some peaches for the Fourth. Plus they’ve got clean restrooms.”
How Far Are We?
“How far are we from Greenville? I want to stop at Bates House of Turkey.”
“How far are we from Waco? I want to stop at Chip and Joanna's store.”
“How far are we from Burris? I want to load up!”
“How far are we from the next rest stop?" (Answer: Forty miles. You're always forty miles from the next rest stop.)
I Feel Like We Forgot Something
“Did you remember to bring the mosquito spray?”
“Did you remember to bring charcoal?”
“Did you remember to bring Wickles?”
“Did you remember to pack our bathing suits?”
Hand Me . . .
“Hand me those wet wipes.”
“Hand me one of those pimiento cheese sandwiches from the cooler.”
“Hand me a Moon Pie.”
“Hand me that Cracker Barrel map out of the glove compartment.”
I Know A Shortcut
“Who needs a map—we’ve got GPS.”
“Are you sure we’re on the right road?”
“Our turn is right up yonder at the next light where the old Western Auto used to be.”
“You might as well put that GPS away. I know a shortcut.”
“I’m ready for happy hour at Sonic.”
“I’m ready for the seafood buffet.”
“I’m ready for Space Mountain.”
“I’m ready for some Chick Fil-A nuggets. Oh, wait—is today Sunday?”
“I’m ready to let these kids out of the car before I have a hissy fit.”
“I wish you’d go faster. You’re just lookin’ at the weather.”
“Lord, turn the air on! I’m ’bout to die!”
“I need you to stay awake so I don’t fall asleep while I’m driving.”
“Daddy, does this place got a pool?”
“Do we have to unpack our stuff before we can go swimming?”
“Mama, why do armadillos like highways?”
“He’s on my side of the seat!!!!”
"Can we ride Fire in the Hole at Silver Dollar City as many times as we want to?"
"Can we get pancakes in Gatlinburg?"
“I just saw Alabama! Do I have to find a license plate that starts with a ‘B’ now? Why can’t we just find whatever we want to? Why does it have to be in alphabetical order? Why are we playing this game instead of ‘I Spy’? Why are we picking up Memaw on our way to the Outer Banks?” (Answer: Memaw owns the Nags Head cottage.)
“Are we there yet?”
WATCH: 7 Reasons Every Southerner Should Take A Trip To Natchez, Mississippi
It's not just about the historic homes—though Natchez has some stunners that you absolutely should not miss. This is an all-around cool river town that's a lot of fun to visit.