The Lines We Will Never Stop Quoting From 'Miss Congeniality'
When a terrorist threatens to blow up the Miss USA pageant, the FBI sends their best man—and that, of course, is a woman. Tough-as-nails FBI Agent Gracie Hart (Sandra Bullock) is sent undercover as a contestant to infiltrate the pageant from the inside, stepping into the sash and tiara abandoned by Miss New Jersey. To help prepare her for the role of beauty queen, the FBI hires renowned beauty pageant coach Victor Melling (Michael Caine) to help the tomboy Gracie get ready for the fierce competition. The result is a laugh-out-loud comedy that even after 17 years, we can't stop quoting. Here are some of our favorite lines from Miss Congeniality:
Victor Melling: "I haven't seen a walk like that since Jurassic Park."
Gracie Hart: "I was dating him for a little while because he said he had an incurable disease. I didn't realize it was stupidity."
Victor Melling: "Be the crown!"
Gracie Hart: "I am in a dress, I have gel in my hair, I haven't slept all night, I'm starved, and I'm armed. Don't mess with me!"
Gracie Hart: "Hey! I'm gliding here!"
Victor Melling: "Smilers wear a crown, losers wear a frown."
Victor Melling: "I'm sorry, what was the question? I was distracted by the half-masticated cow rollin around in your wide-open trap."
Stan Fields: Miss Rhode Island, please describe your idea of a perfect date.
Cheryl "Rhode Island": That's a tough one. I would have to say April 25th. Because it's not too hot, not too cold, all you need is a light jacket.
Victor Melling: What no armored car?
Gracie Hart: That would be in my other dress.
Victor Melling: Eyebrows – there should be two!
Kathy Morningside: Of course he had a gun. This is Texas! Everybody has a gun. My florist has a gun!
Gracie Hart: Gracie Lou Freebush?
Eric Matthews: Remember, you like that name.
Gracie Hart: Yeah, well. My IQ just dropped ten points.
Victor Melling: Why is New Jersey called "The Garden State"?
Gracie Hart: Because "Oil and Petrochemical Refinery State" wouldn't fit on a license plate?
Gracie Hart: Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go unscrew my smile!
Gracie Hart: And...world peace.
Victor Melling: Your hair should make a statement.
Gracie Hart: As long as it doesn't say 'Thank you very much for the Country Music Award'!
Victor Melling: If I'd ever had a daughter, I imagine she might have been something like you… which is perhaps why I've never reproduced.
Gracie Hart: I would so like to hurt you right now.
Victor Melling: As long as you smile.
Gracie Hart: Why don't you stun-gun yourself?
Karen "New York": She's obviously been drinking too much Coppertone.
Victor Melling: I am a miserable, grumpy elitist—and that works for me