Julia Sugarbaker's Best Takedowns On Designing Women

Why Men Have Only Themselves to Thank

Julia: "It has been the men who have done the law-making and the money-making and most of the mischief-making. So, if the world isn't quite what you had in mind, you have only yourselves to thank."

Standing Up to a Bothersome Man

Julia: "There's no need for introductions, Ray Don, we know who you are. You're the guy who's always wherever women gather or try to be alone. You want to eat with us when we're dining in hotels. You want to know if the book we're reading is any good, or if you can keep us company on the plane. I want to thank you, Ray Don, on behalf of all the women in the world for your unfailing attention and concern. But read my lips and remember, as hard as it is to believe, sometimes we like talking just to each other, and sometimes we like just being alone."

Response to Besmirching Her Sister Suzanne's Reputation

Julia: "For example, you probably didn't know that Suzanne was the only contestant in Georgia pageant history to sweep every category except congeniality, and that is not something the women in my family aspire to anyway. Or that when she walked down the runway in her swimsuit, five contestants quit on the spot. Or that when she emerged from the isolation booth to answer the question, 'What would you do to prevent war?' she spoke so eloquently of patriotism, battlefields, and diamond tiaras, grown men wept. And you probably didn't know, Marjorie, that Suzanne was not just any Miss Georgia, she was the Miss Georgia. She didn't twirl just a baton, that baton was on fire. And when she threw that baton into the air, it flew higher, further, faster than any baton has ever flown before, hitting a transformer and showering the darkened arena with sparks! And when it finally did come down, Marjorie, my sister caught that baton, and 12,000 people jumped to their feet for sixteen and one-half minutes of uninterrupted thunderous ovation, as flames illuminated her tear-stained face! And that, Marjorie⁠—just so you will know and your children will someday know⁠—is the night that the lights went out in Georgia!"

Here's the clip if you want to watch it unfold in all its glory.

On a Home Tour Gone Awry

Julia: "We Southerners have had to endure many things, but one thing we Southerners don't have to endure is a bunch of bored housewives turning historical homes into theme parks, not to mention ill-mannered tourists with their Big Gulps, Mistys, Slurpees, and Frosties, their dirty feet overflowing rubber thongs, and babies who sneeze Fudgesicle juice! Out, out of my house! As God is my witness, I will burn it down myself before I let you in again!"

Mary Jo: "Julia, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but I don't think you're going to be invited to be on the tour of homes next year."

Julia: "Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn."

On Looking Sexy in Photoshoots

Julia: If you are looking for somebody to suck pearls, then I suggest you try finding yourself an oyster, because I am not a woman who does that. As a matter of fact, I don't know any woman who does that, because it's stupid. And it doesn't have any more to do with decorating than having cleavage and looking sexy has to do with working in a bank.

On Being Southern

Julia: "I'm saying this is the South, and we're proud of our crazy people. We don't hide them up in the attic. We bring 'em right down to the living room and show 'em off. See, Phyllis, no one in the South ever asks if you have crazy people in your family. They just ask what side they're on."

Phyllis: "Oh? And which side are yours on, Mrs. Sugarbaker?"

Julia: "Both."

On Standing Up for Who You Are

Julia: "In the end, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks about you. You have to be exactly who and what you want to be. Most everyone is floating along on phony public relations. People who say being beautiful or rich or thin makes them happy⁠—people who are trying to make their marriages and their children seem better than they actually are.... and for what?! Appearances. Appearances don't count for diddly! In the end, all the really matter is what was true, and truly felt, and how we treated one another. And that's it."

On the Right People Being in Charge

Julia: "And I get down on my knees and pray every day⁠—on my own turf⁠—on my own time. One of the things that I pray for, Mr. Brickett, is that people with power will get good sense, and that people with good sense will get power …"