Culture and Lifestyle Quotes and Sayings 33 Quotes from The Golden Girls Guaranteed To Make Your Day By Southern Living Editors Updated on December 14, 2022 Share Tweet Pin Email Trending Videos Photo: NBC/Contributor The very best banter from Blanche, Dorothy, Rose, and Sophia. No matter how long ago the show may have aired, The Golden Girls will always hold a special place in our hearts. What a crew: Betty, Beatrice, Rue, Estelle (better known as Rose, Dorothy, Blanche, and Sophia). That group of girlfriends in Florida have each been nominated for (and won) just about every award out there – from Emmy Awards to Golden Globes. The Golden Girls is considered one of the best-written TV series of all time, and for good reason: the women of The Golden Girls are each funny, bright, and (somewhat) relatable. No matter which Golden Girl you relate to– this gang gives us all hope for a vibrant and vivacious future of female friendships. Although it's hard to pick just 33 quotes, we've narrowed down the show's funniest moments guaranteed to make you laugh out loud. Relive the glory days of The Golden Girls with these hilarious quotes from the iconic series, and grab a snack and sit down for a 7-season-long marathon. 01 of 33 Blanche Southern Living "Crying is for plain women. Pretty women go shopping." -Blanche 02 of 33 Sophia Southern Living "People waste their time pondering whether a glass is half empty or half full. Me, I just drink whatever's in the glass." -Sophia 03 of 33 Dorothy Southern Living "Go to sleep, sweetheart. Pray for brains." -Dorothy 04 of 33 Rose Southern Living "It's like we say in St. Olaf—Christmas without fruitcake is like St. Sigmund's Day without the headless boy." -Rose 05 of 33 Dorothy and Blanche Southern Living Dorothy: I have a dateBlanche: With a man?Dorothy: No, Blanche. With a Venus Fly Trap. 06 of 33 Blanche Southern Living "Well, nobody ever believes me when I'm telling the truth. I guess it's the curse of every devastatingly beautiful woman." -Blanche 07 of 33 Dorothy and Rose Southern Living Dorothy: Rose, what are you listening to?Rose: A relaxation tape. The rain is supposed to relax me.Dorothy: Is it working?Rose: Not really. I keep worrying that I left my car windows down. 08 of 33 Dorothy and Blanche Southern Living Dorothy: Oh, c'mon Blanche. Age is just a state of mind.Blanche: Tell that to my thighs. 09 of 33 Blanche Southern Living "Isn't it amazing how I can feel so bad, and still look so good?" -Blanche 10 of 33 Rose and Blanche Southern Living Rose: Tell me, is it possible to love two men at the same time.Blanche: Set the scene, have we been drinking? 11 of 33 Blanche Southern Living "I've been having a good time, and there wasn't even a man in the room." -Blanche 12 of 33 Dorothy and Rose Southern Living Dorothy: Ma, I have a feeling you're lying.Rose: Dorothy, be positive.Dorothy: Okay, I'm positive you're lying. 13 of 33 Dorothy and Blanche Southern Living Dorothy: You know what's young to me now? Forty. Suddenly, forty is young.Blanche: Oooh... aren't you sweet. 14 of 33 Dorothy Southern Living "No! No, I will not have a nice day!" -Dorothy 15 of 33 Blanche and Dorothy Southern Living Blanche: Dorothy, what do you think I oughta do with my bed?Dorothy: Put it in the Smithsonian, Blanche. It's got more miles on it than the spirit of St. Louis. 16 of 33 Dorothy and Blanche Southern Living Dorothy: You know what your trouble is?Blanche: Of course not. 17 of 33 Sophia Southern Living "Have I given you any indication that I care?" -Sophia 18 of 33 Sophia Southern Living "No matter how bad things get, remember these sage words: You're old, you sag, get over it." -Sophia 19 of 33 Sophia Southern Living "Jealousy is a very ugly thing, Dorothy. And so are you in anything backless." -Sophia 20 of 33 Rose Southern Living "It's like life is a giant weenie roast, and I'm the biggest weenie." -Rose 21 of 33 Rose Southern Living "Dorothy, was Sophia naked just now or does her dress really need ironing?" -Rose 22 of 33 Sophia Southern Living "After 80, every year without a headstone is a milestone." -Sophia 23 of 33 Dorothy Southern Living "She's really a very sweet woman. She just doesn't like to show it." -Dorothy 24 of 33 Blanche Southern Living "Flirting is part of my heritage." -Blanche 25 of 33 Sophia Southern Living "Want a glass of water to wash down your foot?" -Sophia 26 of 33 Rose Southern Living "Tell me the truth: Do these glasses make me look stupid?" -Rose 27 of 33 Rose and Dorothy Southern Living Rose: Can I ask a dumb question?Dorothy: Better than anyone I know. 28 of 33 Rose and Dorothy Southern Living Rose: Where are you going?Dorothy: To get ice cream or commit a felony. I'll decide in the car. 29 of 33 Rose Southern Living My mother used to say: The older you get, the better you get. Unless you're a banana." -Rose 30 of 33 Rose Southern Living "I feel like crawling under the covers and eating a box of Velveeta." -Rose 31 of 33 Rose Southern Living "I hate to admit it, but he melts my Häagen-Dazs." -Rose 32 of 33 Dorothy Southern Living "It is not easy being a mother. If it were easy, fathers would do it." -Dorothy 33 of 33 Sophia Southern Living "Look, you didn't ask me for my opinion, but I'm old, so I'm giving it anyway." -Sophia Was this page helpful? Thanks for your feedback! Tell us why! Other Submit