33 Quotes from The Golden Girls Guaranteed To Make Your Day

By Anna Aguillard

Updated March 09, 2021

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The very best banter from Blanche, Dorothy, Rose, and Sophia.No matter how long ago the show may have aired, The Golden Girls will always hold a special place in our hearts. What a crew: Betty, Beatrice, Rue, Estelle (better known as Rose, Dorothy, Blanche, and Sophia). That group of girlfriends in Florida have each been nominated for (and won) just about every award out there – from Emmy Awards to Golden Globes. The Golden Girls is considered one of the best-written TV series of all time, and for good reason: the women of The Golden Girls are each funny, bright, and (somewhat) relatable. No matter which Golden Girl you relate to– this gang gives us all hope for a vibrant and vivacious future of female friendships. Although it’s hard to pick just 17 quotables, we’ve narrowed down the show’s funniest moments guaranteed to make you laugh out loud. Relive the glory days of The Golden Girls with these hilarious quotes from the iconic series, and grab a snack and sit down for a 7-season-long marathon.

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"Crying is for plain women. Pretty women go shopping." -Blanche

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"People waste their time pondering whether a glass is half empty or half full. Me, I just drink whatever's in the glass." -Sophia

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"Go to sleep, sweetheart. Pray for brains." -Dorothy

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"It's like we say in St. Olaf—Christmas without fruitcake is like St. Sigmund's Day without the headless boy." -Rose

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Dorothy: I have a date
Blanche: With a man?
Dorothy: No, Blanche. With a Venus Fly Trap.

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"Well, nobody ever believes me when I'm telling the truth. I guess it's the curse of every devastatingly beautiful woman." -Blanche

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Dorothy: Rose, what are you listening to?
Rose: A relaxation tape. The rain is supposed to relax me.
Dorothy: Is it working?
Rose: Not really. I keep worrying that I left my car windows down.

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Dorothy: Oh, c'mon Blanche. Age is just a state of mind.
Blanche: Tell that to my thighs.

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"Isn't it amazing how I can feel so bad, and still look so good?" -Blanche

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Rose: Tell me, is it possible to love two men at the same time.
Blanche: Set the scene, have we been drinking?

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"I've been having a good time, and there wasn't even a man in the room." -Blanche

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Dorothy: Ma, I have a feeling you're lying.
Rose: Dorothy, be positive.
Dorothy: Okay, I'm positive you're lying.

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Dorothy: You know what's young to me now? Forty. Suddenly, forty is young.
Blanche: Oooh... aren't you sweet.

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"No! No, I will not have a nice day!" -Dorothy

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Blanche: Dorothy, what do you think I oughta do with my bed?
Dorothy: Put it in the Smithsonian, Blanche. It's got more miles on it than the spirit of St. Louis.