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  3. 33 Quotes from The Golden Girls Guaranteed To Make Your Day

33 Quotes from The Golden Girls Guaranteed To Make Your Day

By Anna Aguillard
Updated March 09, 2021
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The very best banter from Blanche, Dorothy, Rose, and Sophia.No matter how long ago the show may have aired, The Golden Girls will always hold a special place in our hearts. What a crew: Betty, Beatrice, Rue, Estelle (better known as Rose, Dorothy, Blanche, and Sophia). That group of girlfriends in Florida have each been nominated for (and won) just about every award out there – from Emmy Awards to Golden Globes. The Golden Girls is considered one of the best-written TV series of all time, and for good reason: the women of The Golden Girls are each funny, bright, and (somewhat) relatable. No matter which Golden Girl you relate to– this gang gives us all hope for a vibrant and vivacious future of female friendships. Although it’s hard to pick just 17 quotables, we’ve narrowed down the show’s funniest moments guaranteed to make you laugh out loud. Relive the glory days of The Golden Girls with these hilarious quotes from the iconic series, and grab a snack and sit down for a 7-season-long marathon. 

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Crying Is for Plain Women - Golden Girls Quote
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"Crying is for plain women. Pretty women go shopping." -Blanche

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People Waste Their Time Pondering Whether a Glass Is Half Empty or Half Full - Golden Girls Quote
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"People waste their time pondering whether a glass is half empty or half full. Me, I just drink whatever's in the glass." -Sophia

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Go To Sleep, Sweetheart. Pray for Brains. - Golden Girls Quote
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"Go to sleep, sweetheart. Pray for brains." -Dorothy

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It's Like We Say in St. Olaf - Golden Girls Quote
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"It's like we say in St. Olaf—Christmas without fruitcake is like St. Sigmund's Day without the headless boy." -Rose

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I Have a Date - Golden Girls Quote
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Dorothy: I have a date
Blanche: With a man?
Dorothy: No, Blanche. With a Venus Fly Trap.

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Nobody Believes Me When I'm Telling the Truth - Golden Girls Quote
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"Well, nobody ever believes me when I'm telling the truth. I guess it's the curse of every devastatingly beautiful woman." -Blanche

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Relaxation Tape - Golden Girls Quote
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Dorothy: Rose, what are you listening to?
Rose: A relaxation tape. The rain is supposed to relax me.
Dorothy: Is it working?
Rose: Not really. I keep worrying that I left my car windows down.

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Age Is a State of Mind - The Golden Girls Quote
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Dorothy: Oh, c'mon Blanche. Age is just a state of mind.
Blanche: Tell that to my thighs.

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Isn't It Amazing How I Can Feel So Bad and Look So Good - Golden Girls Quote
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"Isn't it amazing how I can feel so bad, and still look so good?" -Blanche

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Is It Possible to Love Two Men at the Same Time? - Golden Girls Quote
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Rose: Tell me, is it possible to love two men at the same time.
Blanche: Set the scene, have we been drinking?

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I've Been Having a Good Time and There Wasn't a Man in the Room - Golden Girls Quote
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"I've been having a good time, and there wasn't even a man in the room." -Blanche

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I Have a Feeling You're Lying - Golden Girls Quote
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Dorothy: Ma, I have a feeling you're lying.
Rose: Dorothy, be positive.
Dorothy: Okay, I'm positive you're lying.

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Forty Is Young to Me Now - Golden Girls Quotes
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Dorothy: You know what's young to me now? Forty. Suddenly, forty is young.
Blanche: Oooh... aren't you sweet.

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No I Will Not Have a Nice Day - Golden Girls
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"No! No, I will not have a nice day!" -Dorothy

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It's Got More Miles on It Than the Spirit of St. Louis - Golden Girls Quote
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Blanche: Dorothy, what do you think I oughta do with my bed?
Dorothy: Put it in the Smithsonian, Blanche. It's got more miles on it than the spirit of St. Louis.

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You Know What Your Trouble Is? - Golden Girls Quote
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Dorothy: You know what your trouble is?
Blanche: Of course not.

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Have I Given Any Indication I Care - Golden Girls Quote
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"Have I given you any indication that I care?" -Sophia

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Remember These Sage Words - The Golden Girls Quotes
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"No matter how bad things get, remember these sage words: You’re old, you sag, get over it." -Sophia

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Jealousy Is a Very Ugly Thing - Golden Girls Quotes
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"Jealousy is a very ugly thing, Dorothy. And so are you in anything backless." -Sophia

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Life Is a Giant Weenie Roast - The Golden Girls Quotes
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"It’s like life is a giant weenie roast, and I’m the biggest weenie." -Rose

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Does Her Dress Need Ironing - The Golden Girls Quote
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"Dorothy, was Sophia naked just now or does her dress really need ironing?" -Rose

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Every Year Without a Headstone Is a Milestone
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"After 80, every year without a headstone is a milestone." -Sophia

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She Really Is a Very Sweet Woman - Golden Girls Quotes
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"She’s really a very sweet woman. She just doesn’t like to show it." -Dorothy

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Flirting Is Part of My Heritage - The Golden Girls Quotes
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"Flirting is part of my heritage." -Blanche

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Glass of Water to Wash Down Your Foot? - Golden Girls Quote
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"Want a glass of water to wash down your foot?" -Sophia

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Do These Glasses Make Me Look Stupid?
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"Tell me the truth: Do these glasses make me look stupid?" -Rose

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Can I Ask a Dumb Question - The Golden Girls Quote
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Rose: Can I ask a dumb question?
Dorothy: Better than anyone I know.

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Where Are You Going - Golden Girls Quotes
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Rose: Where are you going?
Dorothy: To get ice cream or commit a felony. I’ll decide in the car.

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The Older You Get The Better You Get - Golden Girls Quote
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My mother used to say: The older you get, the better you get. Unless you’re a banana.” -Rose

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I Feel Like Eating a Box of Velveeta - The Golden Girls Quote
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"I feel like crawling under the covers and eating a box of Velveeta." -Rose

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I Hate To Admit It But He Melts My Hagen Daazs - Golden Girls Quote
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"I hate to admit it, but he melts my Häagen-Dazs." -Rose

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It Is Not Easy Being a Mother - Golden Girls Quote
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"It is not easy being a mother. If it were easy, fathers would do it." -Dorothy

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You Didn't Ask for My Opinion But I'm Going To Give It - Golden Girls Quote
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"Look, you didn’t ask me for my opinion, but I’m old, so I’m giving it anyway." -Sophia

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