22 Times Dorothy Shut Down Rose and Blanche on The Golden Girls
When she "gently" tells Rose what's best for her
Dorothy to Rose: "Go to sleep sweetheart, pray for brains."
When she knows Blanche too well
Blanche: "What do you think of my new dress? Is it me?"
Sophia: "It's too tight, it's too short, and it shows too much cleavage for a woman your age."
Dorothy: "Yes, Blanche. It's you."
This accurate advice
Blanche: "Dorothy, what do you think I oughta do with my bed?"
Dorothy: "Put it in the Smithsonian, Blanche. Its got more miles on it than the Spirit of St. Louis!"
When she reminds Blanche about that time…
I've never been so humiliated in my life." Dorothy: "What about the time you lost the key to your handcuffs and had to go with that guy on his mail route?"
When she makes us think "bless your heart, Rose"
You are not gonna believe this. My sister, Charmaine, just called me." Dorothy: "I didn't think the two of you were speaking."Blanche: "Well, we're not."Rose: "Then how'd you know it was her on the other end of the line?"Dorothy: "Rose, you're bringing down the curve for the whole country."
When she understands the irresistible power of dessert
Oh, my goodness. Look what I found. Double-fudge cookies. I thought we agreed not to keep cookies in the house." Blanche: "Right, after this last box."Rose: "You're not going to eat them, are you?"Dorothy: "No, Rose. We're going to go to some dumb country and try to use them as money."
This interesting idea
The fancy man and I are going to the dog track." Blanche to Dorothy: "Your mother bets?"Dorothy: "No, she rides. She's a dog jockey."
When she really makes you think
"Where are you going?" Dorothy: "To get ice cream. Or commit a felony. I'll decide in the car."
When she confronts a paradox
Blanche: "I don't really mind Clayton being homosexual, I just don't like him dating men."
Dorothy: "You really haven't grasped the concept of this "gay thing" yet, have you, Blanche?"
When she puts coffee first
Dorothy to Blanche and Rose: "If I had that money I could have moved into a swinging condo instead of living with—I better not say anything until I've had my coffee [sips coffee]—a slut and a moron!"
This incredibly comforting response
You won't believe the horrible thing I just heard on the radio!" Dorothy: "Oh, Rose, we go through this every time. This is merely a test. In the event of an actual emergency-"
When she calls Blanche out
Blanche: "I can't believe you said that! Oh, if I weren't a lady I'd deck you."
Dorothy: "You try and I'll have you on your back so fast you'll think you're out on a date."
And when she calls Blanche out, again
[Blanche running after a dog]
Dorothy: "Ha! Would you look at that: man's best friend, chasing man's best friend!"
When she lands a man
"I have a date" Blanche: "With a man?"Dorothy: "No, Blanche. With a Venus Fly Trap."
When she sticks with the truth
Blanche: "Now, only women in there twenties and thirties have babies, whatever is a woman in her forties to do?"
Dorothy: "I don't know, why don't we find one and ask?"
When she refuses to use a euphemism
Blanche: "I'm from the South. Flirting is part of my heritage."
Rose: "What does that mean?"
Dorothy: "Her mother was a slut, too."
When she calls out Blanche, again (we're sensing a pattern)
Blanche: "I won't stand for this!"[she gets up and starts to walk out]
Sophia: "Take it, Dorothy!"
Dorothy: "But I bet you'll lie down for it."
This accurate clarification
"I am the smartest woman in the whole world!" Dorothy: "You're right, Rose, you are the smartest woman in the world: Burger World."
This perfect example of sarcasm
Blanche: "Dorothy, can I borrow your mink stole?"
Dorothy: "It's Miami in June —only cats are wearing fur!"
Rose: "Are you going out?"
Dorothy: "No, she's going to sit here where its 112 degrees and eat enchiladas."
This interesting promise
Rose: "Blanche, you should make us eat dirt, make us grovel, give us the silent treatment..."
Dorothy: "Rose, if you give us the silent treatment, I will eat dirt."
When she refuses to answer obvious questions
Rose: "Cooking, Dorothy?"
Dorothy: "No, Rose, I'm developing pictures for the Magellan Space Program."
When she keeps Blanche grounded
Blanche: "This is strictly off the record, but Dirk is nearly five years younger than I am."
Dorothy: "In what, Blanche, dog years?"