Because everyone could benefit from a day devoted to pimiento cheese.

From National Siblings Day to Blueberry Pancake Appreciation Month, the advent of social media has taken the concept of holidays and celebrations to a new level where even the most mundane of items like saxophones and lasagna get their own day to be exalted. (Okay, both of those things are pretty awesome.) This got us thinking. If we Southerners were able to ditch the classic Gregorian calendar with its government-sanctioned holidays, what days would we proclaim? These are the 7 days we think our region and our nation are looking for.

National Hug Someone’s Neck Day

Because in these trying times, the country could use more necks hugged and less nasty comments left on Facebook.

National Mayonnaise Day

We would need at least a full 24 hours to properly debate each brand’s merits and subjective faults.

The NCAA FBS College Football Championship

There will always be a Southern team in it, so why don’t we just go ahead and make this day official?

National Porch Appreciation Day

Call us crazy, but if Americans across the country could sit a spell on the porch, perhaps we might figure out some solutions to life’s biggest quandaries.

Alabama White Sauce Education Day

Anyone who understands the joy that is this creamy barbecue sauce anomaly knows this is more community outreach than anything.

National Southern Literature Day

Because reading As I Lay Dying or Wise Blood as an adult who is no longer a bewildered high school student is a much more rewarding experience.

National Pimiento Cheese Day

What the rest of the country may see as a heap of shredded cheese, mayonnaise, and pimiento peppers, we see as a balm for the soul. An entire day of guilt-free eating of pimiento cheese is more an exercise in widespread, semi-mandatory self-care.

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