Why Southerners are Obsessed With The British Royals
This is starting to look like a full-on "roymance" between Southerners and the Windsors.
Y'all, there's something going on with the South and the British royal family. From the cutie-pie antics of precious Prince George and Princess Charlotte to the blush-pink frock that the Duchess of Cambridge wore for sister Pippa's wedding, we're so busy liking and sharing royal family news on Facebook that we've all but abandoned our SEC fan pages. What in the Sam Hill is happening?
Actually, when you stop to think about it, we should've seen this coming because it makes perfect sense. The rest of the world might take most of its cultural cues from the media, but not us. Southerners are much more drawn to the Windsors than the Kardashians. When it comes to her guest list for Sissy's bridal tea, Mama would much rather have Queen Elizabeth in attendance than the biggest stars in Hollywood. Southerners just feel like we're on solid ground when we follow a time-honored lead, and the British monarchy is most definitely time-honored. We owe them a lot. For example, they taught us that a quality horse race calls for finery and really big hats—without which, the Kentucky Derby would just be a rough 'n rowdy pony run.
Given all the values we share, there's a very good chance that Southerners and the British royals were separated at birth. Consider the evidence:
They have a mama who rules, and so do we.
Ours doesn't need a crown to maintain dominion over her kingdom, but she sure would like to try one on—you know—just to see how it looks with her outfit.
They still say "sir" and "ma'am."
Hallelujah! We needn't carry the banner alone.
They believe there is a right way and a wrong way to do things.
One does not greet Her Majesty without a curtsy or a bow—just as one does not grill hotdogs and call it a barbecue.
The royals are sticklers for authenticity.
You are either of royal blood or you are not—just like you are either a Phi Mu legacy at the University of Alabama or you are not.
Mama'n'em would rather have one piece of "good jewelry" than all the costume baubles at the outlet mall.
Clearly, the Queen and the Duchess concur. Witness their tasteful pearls and diamonds.
We are fascinated by their fascinators.
In fact, women all over the South plan to fasten one onto our respective heads next Easter.
The British royals love hunting dogs and firearms. So do we!
And we confess to harboring a secret fantasy of inviting Her Majesty over to our side of The Pond and taking her to Northwest Alabama to see the famous coon dog cemetery. Dang, we might even take her on a nighttime hunt with Ole Blue and Li'l Molly. Why, that would be a dream come true. Before she visits, though, we probably need to clue her in that "stalking" means something entirely different over here.
They've got Balmoral—we've got Biltmore.
One minor difference: The Queen and her kin don't have to buy tickets to get into their country estate. And there's no gift shop there, as far as we know.
Kate has reminded us that there is a place in this world for a hat, gloves, purse, and shoes that match your dress perfectly.
We haven't been so grateful to a non-Southerner since Jackie Kennedy.
Only royal brides have bigger wedding parties than Southern brides.
Well . . . a couple of them have.
For weddings and other special occasions, royals like their children poufy, and so do we.
Poufy little skirts and knickers, white stockings, Mary Janes, lots of bows . . . Prince George and Princess Charlotte could've gone straight from that wedding at Pippa's village church to Sunday services at St. Philip's in Charleston. They wouldn't even have to change clothes. They were that dressed up.
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