Bun intended.

By Zoe Denenberg
April 30, 2020
No-Knead Buttermilk Bread
Credit: Greg DuPree

Everyone is baking bread these days. Novice bakers find themselves nurturing sourdough starters (which can be quite kneady); those who can track down yeast are baking dinner rolls, cinnamon buns, and myriad other sweet and savory treats. After all, there’s no better way to elevate a meal than with a loaf of freshly-baked bread. Although the premise of bread-baking may seem intimidating, all it really requires is persistence, dedication, and time. (If you’re looking for a good place to start, try our No-Knead Buttermilk Bread.)

Whether you’re a beginner bread-baker, an experienced chef, or simply a carb enthusiast, you’ll crack up over these hilarious bread jokes and puns. Share these punny jokes with a baker in your life—you’re sure to get a rise out of them. The best thing about a bread joke? It never gets stale.

Bread Jokes

  • Why did the loaf of bread break up with his girlfriend? The relationship was crumbling.
  • Why does bread hate Southern summers? The weather is too toasty.
  • How does bread court his sweetheart? With lots of flours.
  • What did the toast say to the psychic? You bread my mind!
  • What did one slice of bread say to another after a long day? Don’t worry—tomorrow will be butter.
bread joke 1
Credit: Getty Images
  • What does a loaf of bread say to a friend after doing them a favor? It’s the yeast I could do.
  • What did one slice of bread say to the other before the race? You’re toast!
  • What does a loaf of bread say when breaking up with his girlfriend? You deserve butter.
  • How do you spot a radical baker? They’re always going against the grain.
  • What did mama bread say to her kids? It’s way past your breadtime!
bread jokes 2
Credit: Getty Images
  • What’s the most sophisticated kind of bread? The upper crust.
  • Why did the aging loaf retire? His career was toast.
  • Why was the loaf of bread upset? His plans kept going a rye.
  • What did a slice of bread say after brushing his teeth? I’m bready for bed.
  • What’s the best thing about a bread joke? It never gets stale.

WATCH: Spoon Rolls

Bread Puns

bread pun 3
Credit: Getty Images
  • Before I break down and rye, I want you to know that I loaf you.
  • Bready or not, here I crumb!
  • I don’t want naan of that.
  • Gotta risk it for the biscuit.
  • You’re toast.
  • Wheat it and weep.
  • The two slices of bread decided to leave the bakery. I heard that they wanted to grow mold together.
  • You’re the apple of my rye.
  • Next time you need a loaf, challah at me.
  • That sour loaf kneads to be punished.
  • Gosh, my sourdough starter is so kneady.
  • I’m on a roll.
  • I hear sourdough is on the rise.
  • Ciabatta stay away from me.
  • I’m headed to mail a loaf of bread at the toast office.
  • Did you know that pilgrims baked bread on the May-Flour?
  • Stop loafing around!
  • Business at the bakery is on the rise.
  • Don’t be so sour, dough.
  • Baking is a labor of loaf.
  • The flour got in trouble, so his mama sent him to bread early.
  • Don’t worry, you can crust me.
  • It’s a shame that bread puns are always so crumby.