38 Bread Jokes and Puns That Definitely Aren’t Crumby
Everyone is baking bread these days. Novice bakers find themselves nurturing sourdough starters (which can be quite kneady); those who can track down yeast are baking dinner rolls, cinnamon buns, and myriad other sweet and savory treats. After all, there’s no better way to elevate a meal than with a loaf of freshly-baked bread. Although the premise of bread-baking may seem intimidating, all it really requires is persistence, dedication, and time. (If you’re looking for a good place to start, try our No-Knead Buttermilk Bread.)
Whether you’re a beginner bread-baker, an experienced chef, or simply a carb enthusiast, you’ll crack up over these hilarious bread jokes and puns. Share these punny jokes with a baker in your life—you’re sure to get a rise out of them. The best thing about a bread joke? It never gets stale.
- Why did the loaf of bread break up with his girlfriend? The relationship was crumbling.
- Why does bread hate Southern summers? The weather is too toasty.
- How does bread court his sweetheart? With lots of flours.
- What did the toast say to the psychic? You bread my mind!
- What did one slice of bread say to another after a long day? Don’t worry—tomorrow will be butter.
- What does a loaf of bread say to a friend after doing them a favor? It’s the yeast I could do.
- What did one slice of bread say to the other before the race? You’re toast!
- What does a loaf of bread say when breaking up with his girlfriend? You deserve butter.
- How do you spot a radical baker? They’re always going against the grain.
- What did mama bread say to her kids? It’s way past your breadtime!
- What’s the most sophisticated kind of bread? The upper crust.
- Why did the aging loaf retire? His career was toast.
- Why was the loaf of bread upset? His plans kept going a rye.
- What did a slice of bread say after brushing his teeth? I’m bready for bed.
- What’s the best thing about a bread joke? It never gets stale.
WATCH: Spoon Rolls
- Before I break down and rye, I want you to know that I loaf you.
- Bready or not, here I crumb!
- I don’t want naan of that.
- Gotta risk it for the biscuit.
- You’re toast.
- Wheat it and weep.
- The two slices of bread decided to leave the bakery. I heard that they wanted to grow mold together.
- You’re the apple of my rye.
- Next time you need a loaf, challah at me.
- That sour loaf kneads to be punished.
- Gosh, my sourdough starter is so kneady.
- I’m on a roll.
- I hear sourdough is on the rise.
- Ciabatta stay away from me.
- I’m headed to mail a loaf of bread at the toast office.
- Did you know that pilgrims baked bread on the May-Flour?
- Stop loafing around!
- Business at the bakery is on the rise.
- Don’t be so sour, dough.
- Baking is a labor of loaf.
- The flour got in trouble, so his mama sent him to bread early.
- Don’t worry, you can crust me.
- It’s a shame that bread puns are always so crumby.