50 Bread Jokes and Puns That Definitely Aren't Crumby

Bun intended.

No-Knead Buttermilk Bread
Photo: Greg DuPree

Everyone is baking bread these days. Novice bakers find themselves nurturing sourdough starters (which can be quite kneady), and those who can track down yeast are baking dinner rolls, cinnamon buns, and myriad other sweet and savory treats. After all, there's no butter way to elevate a meal than with a loaf of freshly-baked bread.

Whether you're a beginner bread-baker, an experienced chef, or simply a carb enthusiast, you'll crack up over these hilarious bread jokes and puns. Share these punny jokes with a baker in your life—you're sure to get a rise out of them. The best thing about a bread joke? It never grows mold.

Bread Jokes

Knead a pick-me-up? This list of hilariously delicious bread puns is sure to have you roll-ing on the floor laughing, or running to your kitchen to bake a loaf. So, rye don't we get started?

  • Why did the loaf of bread break up with his girlfriend? The relationship was crumbling.
  • Why does bread hate Southern summers? The weather is too toasty.
  • How does the bread court his sweetheart? With lots of flours.
  • What did the toast say to the psychic? You bread my mind!
  • What did one slice of bread say to another after a long day? Don't worry—tomorrow will be butter.
  • What is the baker's favorite TV show? The Walking Bread!
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  • What does a loaf of bread say to a friend after doing them a favor? It's the yeast I could do.
  • What did one slice of bread say to the other before the race? You're toast!
  • What does a loaf of bread say when breaking up with his girlfriend? You deserve butter.
  • How do you spot a radical baker? They're always going against the grain.
  • What did mama bread say to her kids? It's way past your breadtime!
  • Why did the baker's card get declined? He didn't have enough dough!
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  • What's the most sophisticated kind of bread? The upper crust.
  • Why did the aging loaf retire? His career was toast.
  • Why was the loaf of bread upset? His plans kept going a rye.
  • What did a slice of bread say after brushing his teeth? I'm bready for bed.
  • What did the slice of bread say to the cheese? You're the best thing since me!

Bread Puns for Your Loaf-er

Send one or all of these buns to your sweet bread to make them feel all warm and toasty inside.

  • Before I break down and rye, I want you to know that I loaf you.
  • The two slices of bread decided to leave the bakery. I heard that they wanted to grow mold together.
  • You're the apple of my rye.
  • Wheat be cute together.
  • Rye don't you bake me on a date?
  • I'm gluten love with you!
  • My loaf for you is rising.
  • Let's tie the bread knot already!
  • Will you be my com-PAN-ion?
  • Bae-goals!
  • You're looking like a stud muffin today!

Bread Puns For When You're Feeling Extra Sour

Knead to make a point to someone you know? Leave them bitter and "twisted" with these puns.

  • You're toast.
  • Wheat it and weep.
  • Ciabatta stay away from me.
  • Don't be so sour, dough.
  • I don't want naan of that.
  • Don't be so kneady.
  • Baguette out of my way!
  • You're no bun!
  • Stop loafing around!

Bread Puns to Send to Your Buddies

Remind your pals their butter than the rest by sending them a pun from the list below.

  • Next time you need a loaf, challah at me.
  • Don't worry, you can crust me.
  • Wheat make great friends!
  • Let's breadstick together.
  • At yeast we have each other.
  • I'm bready to have bun with you!
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Bread Puns That Croissant Fit Into A Category

Did these puns twist your brain in a pretzel? Here are a few more, since we're on a roll.

  • Bready or not, here I crumb!
  • Gotta risk it for the biscuit.
  • I'm headed to mail a loaf of bread at the toast office.
  • Did you know that pilgrims baked bread on the May-Flour?
  • Business at the bakery is on the rise.
  • Baking is a labor of loaf.
  • It's a shame that bread puns are always so crumby.
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