Love Poems and Other Sayings by Ernest T. Bass
If you are an Andy Griffith fanatic, you know that no one can throw a rock or recite a declaration of love better than Ernest T. Bass. With this being the month of love, we didn't choose Sonnet 116 by William Shakespeare or Love One Another by Kahlil Gibran or even My River by Emily Dickinson. We went straight to the town of Mayberry to share with you the eloquent sayings of Ernest T. Bass. You would usually find him breaking out a window with a rock, and then reciting a poem or serenading the love of his life, Charlene Darling, while she was betrothed to another. Barney always expressed his frustration with Ernest T.'s shenanigans with these three words… "He's a nut!" Well, nut or not, it's hard to believe that Ernest T. Bass only appeared in five episodes of The Andy Griffith Show but boy did he leave a lasting impression. We hope these bring back some funny memories of one of TV's quirkiest characters.
"I'm a little mean, but I make up for it by bein' real healthy. Say you'll be mine. Say you'll be my beloved!"
"I love you, I loooove you, Iiii Looooove YOU!!!"
Ernest T.'s endless wooing of Briscoe Darling's daughter, Charlene.
"Well, I courted her as proper as proper can be.
First off I wrote her a love note asking her to go on out with me.
And then I tied it on to the prettiest rock ya ever did see.
And then I give it the prettiest toss ya ever did see... right through the front window!"
Ernest T. wanted to court Hogette Winslow so Andy asked how it turned out when he went to see her and according to Ernest T., the rock hit her right on the head and she had seven stitches but then she decided to marry the taxidermist who sewed her up.
"Right or wrong I'm here to fight.
Unless you run away with fright
And if you wonder who I be,
it's me it's me, it's Ernest T. ~ Whoo hoo."
Heard most anytime Ernest T. was causing trouble in town.
"Maybe you goin' to have a weddin', and maybe you goin' to have a preacher; but you might not have a bride. You ever think of that?"
Ernest T. Bass threatens to kidnap Charlene Darling before her wedding by throwing a rock with this note tied to it through the window.
"If I'da seed you was coming, I'da a knowed what to do, Id'a rizzed both arms, and Id'a wove at you."
One of the many times Barney tried to catch Ernest T. but all Barney caught was an earful of crazy rhymes.
"She called me a creechter, I ain't no creechter!"
This was from the episode, My Fair Ernest T. Bass, where Andy and Barney play the role of Henry Higgins to Ernest T. Just as it was hard to get the cockney out of Eliza Doolittle, it was even harder to get the hillbilly out of Ernest T. Bass.