Bless her heart.
Of course, the tackiest of all wedding etiquette faux pas is to be an ungracious guest. So, if you happen to witness any of these—how should we say this—mishaps, just smile and nod then rush home to drop us a line about it. In the wise words of Clairee, “If you can’t say anything nice about somebody, come sit by me.”
Registry information anywhere near the invitation suite
Including registry information anywhere within, outside, in between layers of, or attached to the invitation or save the date is just unacceptable. It doesn’t matter how bad she wants that Crock-Pot.
Guest who tries to out-dress the bride
It cannot be done. Walking up to the church in sequins, neon of any variety, too-high-heels, a too-short-skirt, or (gasp) a cutout dress is a no-no. Next time, tell her to take a page out of Duchess Kate’s book.
Serving guests beer in cans
Mama would shudder if she saw them putting that can to their lips in formalwear. Pour it in a glass. That cute wedding koozie does not make up for this egregious lapse in judgment.
Women ditching their heels to cut a rug on the dance floor
If her feet are killing her and she has blisters to rival running a marathon in stilettos, it’s still no excuse. She should pull up a chair and watch everyone else partake in the festivities whilst planning to don more appropriate footwear at the next occasion.
A guest list that includes half the South
If the bride doesn’t have time to at least quickly acknowledge the presence of each of her guests, the list is too big. If the bride and groom find themselves in a situation where they don’t know half the guests, it’s also a safe bet they’ve gone a little overboard on the invites.
Snapping pictures during the ceremony
Phones should stay in clutches (or pockets, for gents)—either off or, to be safe, silent. If MOB hears that phone vibrate during her baby girl’s vows, the offender will be glad looks can’t kill.
An over-served bridal party
Champagne after the ceremony, copious toasting, high emotions, and a front-and-center dance floor can lead to quickly finding oneself on the wrong side of sober. This tacky issue many times leads to the next, which is…
Inappropriate best man speeches
A best man nonchalantly mentioning he once dated the bride, but broke up with her giving his best bud (the groom) the green light to move in is absolutely not appropriate. Subsequently using this as an excuse to take credit for the union is even more cringe-worthy.*
Bridal parties so large they require a fleet of trolley cars
Just kidding. It’s a Southern classic. We wouldn’t dream of touching that one.
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*An SL staffer actually witnessed this travesty unfold as she stood clutching her bridesmaid bouquet with white knuckles praying the amp would blow and the mic would cut off. It did, but not nearly soon enough.