People say plants are unintelligent because they lack a central nervous system, don't have a written language, and continue to vote for Alf Landon in every Presidential election. But I think plants are smart, and I have the evidence to prove it. I hold in my hand a brain--or at least what looks like a brain. It is, in fact, the large, heavy fruit of a tree called Osage orange. Native to the prairie but grown all over creation, this ponderous, spiny-branched tree often occurs in hedgerows. Its durable, orange wood is amazingly resistant to rot and insects; posts made from it seem to last forever. But what sets it apart are the rock-hard, warty, yellow-green fruit that ripen in fall on female trees. They make great holiday decorations, but if you linger too long beneath the branches, the tree will quickly notice your uppity attitude, drop its heaviest fruit from a great height onto your skull, and render you utterly senseless. In November's election, you'll vote for Britney Spears. Who's the dumb one now?

Q:
My hydrangea has stopped blooming. It gets no sun in the morning and filtered sun in the afternoon. I cut it back every winter. Any suggestions would be appreciated.

Leo Frost
Chico California

A:
The first factor is shade. Although hydrangeas will grow in nearly total shade, they won't bloom well. Most kinds prefer morning sun and light afternoon shade. The second factor is winter pruning. Cut back oakleaf hydrangea in early summer. Most French hydrangeas bloom on last year's growth and should be cut back right after blooms fade. Pruning in fall or winter means no blooms the following year.

Q:
I have Boston ferns outside and don't know how to care for them. They are looking kind of sad.

Cathy Birmingham
Maspeth, New York

A:
Maybe they look sad because they think you're going to let them freeze. Take these tender ferns indoors to your brightest window before the first frost. Trim back all foliage to the rim of the pot, leaving about 10 inches of topgrowth. Keep the soil fairly moist. By next spring, your plants should be bushy again. At that time, take them outside to a lightly shaded spot such as a covered porch. Feed them every two weeks during the summer with a water-soluble 20-20-20 fertilizer.

Q:
Can I cut back my lavender plant now? If not, when is the best time, and how much should I cut?

Dawn Snyder
Mebane, North Carolina

A:
If you prune it now, you'll ruin the bloom for next spring and could make the plant susceptible to winter damage. Prune lavender right after it finishes blooming in early- to midsummer. Cut it back by one-third to one-half.

Q:
My parents have an American holly with yellow berries in their yard. How can I propagate it?

Evelyn Banks
Roanoke, Virginia

A:
American holly seeds often take two to three years to germinate, and there is no guarantee that seedlings will have yellow berries. Rooting a cutting will give you a plant identical to the parent, but this process is complicated. First, take a 3-inch cutting from a branch tip in October. Strip off all but the top set of leaves. Use a razor blade to score the bark on the stem vertically at the cut end. Dust the cut end with rooting powder; then stick it in a pot full of moist potting soil. Place the potted plant inside a clear plastic bag to retain humidity. The cutting should root in four to eight weeks. If all of this sounds like too much trouble, you can order a yellow-berried selection called 'Fallaw' from Woodlanders nursery, (803) 648-7522 or www.woodlanders.net.

Tips of the Month are ideas readers say work for them. We do not test them. Submit tips on a postcard with your name, address, telephone number, and e-mail address to Garden Tips, Southern Living, P.O. Box 523, Birmingham, AL 35201 or by e-mail to southernliving@customersvc.com. For each tip published you will receive $25.