Why Grumpy Hates Squirrels

He's made his feelings pretty clear – squirrels have no place in the Grumpy Gardener's yard.


Some people love squirrels, many others hate squirrels. If you love them, you're wrong. Squirrels are the bane of human existence. This is my opinion and, of course, it's the correct one. But there's lots of issues concerning squirrels out there, so let me just answer some of the questions that I get. Regarding squirrels and squirrel control. Question one. Will eradicating squirrels from the North American continent cause in a major environmental disaster? I don't know. I don't care. It's a risk I'm willing to take. Question two. Why are there so many stupid squirrels on my neighborhood anyway? Reason is he may hates squirrels But they love us. In fact, they won't live anywhere there aren't people. Why is this so? Well, just look what they get for free when they come into a neighborhood. They get bird feeders, so there's free food. Bird baths, so there's free water. And they crawl into our attics in the winter time. So they get a life of freebies and the only people we have to blame Are ourselves. Question number 3, what harm do squirrels do anyway? Well the answer is, how much time do you got? Because they do a lot. They gobble up all the seed from your bird feeders. If you have a vegetable garden, they pick off all the tomatoes, And eat them and leave them lying on the ground if you got a fruit tree they pick all the fruit if you plant flowers they dig up all your transplants and leave them dying on top of the ground and then what's worse is in the winter time they get into your attic and what are they doing your attic will they breed inside there they run around and make a lot of noise at night And they also chew on your wiring, so they can burn your whole house down. What wonderful creatures. And you wonder why I hate squirrels. Question four. I got squirrels in my attic. How can I keep them out of my attic? The main way that squirrels get into your attic is usually through the gutters. They'll chew a little hole in the fascia board and then they're in the soffit of your roof. And they have free reign once they get inside there, and I found the best way to keep squirrels out of your attic is keep them from getting in the gutters in the first place. So I would recommend you install gutter guards, it keeps the leaves out, keeps the squirrels out. Now, once they're in your attic, you have a couple of options You can put out a poison squirrel bait. That sounds like a lot of fun. But the problem is, if the squirrel eats it and dies in your attic, it won't be fun anymore. So as. As an alternative, what you can do is get a Have A Heart squirrel trap. It's called Have A Heart cuz it gives you a choice. If you have a heart, once you trap that squirrel you can take it out of your attic. And release him in to nature. But if you're like me and you're totally heartless ,all I can say is once I've got squirrel in my trap that's the last episode of Rocky and Bullwinkle he will ever see. Question five, how can I keep squirrels off of my bird feed? Well the first way you can do this is go to your pet store and find a squirrel resistant feeder. They come all sorts of shapes and sizes and models but you'll find them in your pet store. The second way that you can do this is you can buy seed that has been treated With Habanero pepper oil. Now you might think, why would I want to put that out for the birds? Isn't it going to hurt the birds? No. Birds don't even sense the pepper, it doesn't bother them at all. But if a squirrel eats the pepper seed, he basically bursts into flames. Final question. Flaming squirrels? Wow, that sounds good. Can we eat squirrels? Answer. Why, yes. Yes we can and if you'll go to my blog, The Grumpy Gardener, and search for squirrels you'll find a delicious recipe for bacon wrapped squirrels. Mm. Bacon. Ow. Ow. Get it off. Ow, it hurts. Get if off.
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