Grumpy's Gift Guide

The Grumpy Gardener shares his picks for gifts this holiday season.


And now a tip from the Grumpy Gardener. Hi I'm Steve Bender, the Grumpy Gardener. You know, a lot of companies will send me all sorts of gardening products hoping that I'm gonna write about them, and most of 'em I just end up throwing in the trash can. But I've got three here. That I think are really cool and would make good presents for Christmas. Okay now this first thing, this is called hot pepper wax. And what it is, its a capsacin chemical it makes hot peppers hot. And they mix it with wax. So that you can spray it on your plants and it will stay there for up to thirty days. And then, when any kind of bug or worm or rabbit, you know, takes a bite out of it, well it's really, really hot and it's really cool to use 'cuz, you know, as you're looking at it you can watch their little heads explode. There's like incendiary fire and smoke and everything. Makes you feel really good, makes you feel justified so. And, the other good thing about this is that it does not harm birds. For some reason birds are really cool with hot foods, so I don't know, I think that maybe I'm gonna put some vindaloo in my bird feeder, who knows. Okay next gift item. Look at this item, this looks like something from a ninja doesn't it, but actually it's a really cool gardening tool. It's called the Cobra-head weeder. And it's very handy. You can use it for just digging out the roots of a weed really easily or you can scrape it along the ground to kind of scalp out the weed. You can use it for busting up the soil, cultivating or you can even use it for like making a little furrow, so, that you can put seeds in, when you're planting. I'll give you another tip, how I like to use it. You know when you go to the movies, and there's always somebody in front of you, that just won't shut up, talking during the movie. Well, the next time you go to the movies, take the Cobra-head with you, and when they're talking, just tap that person on the shoulder. And, when they turn around Hold this up and go shhhh! Guarantee you, they'll shut up. Okay, number three item, and this is something that appeals to a really grumpy, softer side. This is Lechuza self-watering planter. Lechuza is a company that makes all sorts of different kinds of self-watering containers. They got big ones and they got small ones, but I think they look really, really nice. This is a good idea for anybody who can't remember when to water their plants. And look what I've done here. I took this thing and I got really artsy and I put a Bromeliad in it. Doesn't that look absolutely beautiful? I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, Steve, you are the pinnacle of taste and sophistication. What can I say? You're right. Feliz Navidad. The preceding has been taped from the Grumpy Gardener.
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