I'm full as a tick, but I still want a little something sweet to finish off on.
Southerners are rarely at a loss for words, and that’s especially true when we're gathered around Mama's table, passing her potato salad on to Uncle Walt and wondering when the fried chicken platter will come our way. The things Southerners say at the table cover EVERYTHING. And when we "have our knees under the table" at our Southern Mama's house, sometimes we get so excited about the chicken casserole and chocolate cake that we talk all over each other.
We recently polled our Southern braintrust on Facebook to see what conversation they remembered from Mama's table. And we found that our grub gab falls into a few clearly defined categories. Let us know what you think.
Little Sissy and Bo-Bo had BEST respect Mama's cooking.
How do you know you won’t like it if you don’t try it?
Don’t put salt on your chicken till you taste it first!
Don’t you dare smother my meatloaf in ketchup!
You kids need to speed up . . . or maybe slow down.
You’d better eat that before your sister gets to it.
Slow down and quit eating so fast! Do you think you’re going to a fire?
Clean your plate.
Think of all the poor children in the world with nothing to eat, and here you haven’t finished your gumbo.
Looks like your eyes were bigger than your stomach.
You are NOT getting up from this table till you at least try that broccoli casserole. It's got cheese in it!
You weren't raised in a barn.
Get your elbows off the table.
How many times do I have to tell you not to talk with your mouth full?
How many times do I have to tell you not to chew with your mouth open?
Pass the rolls, WHAT? (Required response from children: Could you pass the rolls, please ma'am?)
Do you want people to think I raised a heathen?
If you kids do that ONE more time . . .
Even the adults need a little instruction at the table.
Y’all hush so Daddy can ask the blessing. Bless the hands that prepared this food.
Keep the food moving.
Take two biscuits; they’re small.
Who wants to try for the pully bone?
Better save room for dessert!
Y'all ready for dessert?
Who needs more tea?
Who wants coffee?
Can you pass me a little butter, please?
Cut me just one more little sliver of that pecan pie.
I believe I’ll take just one more spoonful of that squash casserole.
Gimme just a tat more ("tat" being a sometime Southernism for "tad").
How's the food quality?
Everything looks so GOOD!
When we get done with the dishes, I want to get this cobbler recipe from you.
Just how hungry are you?
I’m so hungry I could eat a horse.
Just how full are you?
I’m so full I’m about to pop!
I'm full as a tick.
I'm so full I'm just miserable.
Oh, well, [fill in any occasion providing an excuse to eat] only comes around once a year.
Compliments to Mama, with thanks in return.
Everything was mighty good.
Well, I'm glad you enjoyed it.
What's the news?
Did you hear about what happened to the head coach down at the high school?
Did y'all hear the town's getting a new firetruck?
Did y'all hear about the one-day sale at Belk's?
Mama doesn't reserve her child-rearing skills for the table. She's got plenty more to say:
Mama's bound and determined that her young'uns will be raised right. Not in a barn. Not by wolves. By Mama. And their table manners will show it.